The Mana'o Blog: The Other Side of Things...

We have been conditioned to believe what others say is the truth of us...

"...Turn me on take me for a hard ride.Burn me out leave me on the otherside
I yell and tell it that It's not my friend .I tear it down, I tear it down and then it's born again..."

(Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Otherside.")

I will scream it from the highest mountain tops in Southern California...you are who you are because of you and your life's purpose...you are not what other people tell you that you are.

If there is one thing that bothers me more than anything else it is the idea that anyone else has the very right to dictate through their judgment of us who we are. We are only who they say we are to them, but there is no rule, no law that says, anywhere, that who we are depends on what someone else - a few someone else's - says we are. There is nothing in the world that should be seen as being more precious to us than our identity. Yes, I say nothing more precious because who we are is who we allow the rest of the world to see us as, and who we are dictates how we operate in the world, and if who you are affects another person in their own lives and their own thinking in a negative manner, I promise you that is not your fault.

That is their fault. What is your fault is believing their nonsense, because that is what it is. People hate on other people when they recognize greatness in them, and what is really strange is that when we are able to see this greatness in others and most of us know that whatever we see in others we also have within ourselves, and how on earth is it possible that we can see this greatness and call it anything but "also our own." While our own greatness is not measured in what others see in us and judge harshly, it is judged by us in a harsh manner because of what other people tell us.

Yes, I know it makes no sense, but if you thought about the idea that we mirror each other then you would also know that what we see and what we sense in others that bothers us means that we need to be checkin' ourselves before we further go about wreckin' ourselves.

Our Human Propensity Toward Wreckin' Ourselves

We are told from the time that we are a little tiny baby, in the womb even, about who we are expected to be, and our western societal expectations have always set the entirety of us as being "against" each other in terms of doing what we do and more than that, Being who we each truly are. I could go on and on about how it was that I was raised "in the church," and I can sit here and blame all of my own failures on that upbringing and blame all of my pu'olo of things that irritate me on that upbringing, but that would be giving too much of my own power for evolving that upbringing and the credit that I deserve for having been able to glean my own clarity from it to someone else.

We take on too much of other peoples' wrong thoughts about us, and we take on their intentions for us without our realizing that we are, and we do so because this madness begins when we are children. Children are the most Spiritually vulnerable and we take from them the right that they have upon conception to be Who and All they are, and we do it for the wrongest reason ever - so that we are not made to look like fools as parents. I will say this - if you feel like a fool and it is your kid who is making you feel like a fool, the onus is yours, not theirs, and it is so because you taught them to behave that way. Perhaps maybe not in the manner where you are actively teaching them to be foolish, but more in the way that you have shown them that they can be foolish because you are foolish. They hear what you say about them and then they go out into the world and tell others what they think of themselves, and the others in their lives will either tell them that they are correct in that inclination, or they will tell them that no, they are not what they have been told.

The way that you know a person is hanging on to the things that they have been told and the things that they are believing is to look at the things happening on the outside of them. In their world there will be things that seem to not bring about the healing that they so dearly need and want, and in their world the things that are making them "Soul sick" will be evidenced by the things that are drawn to them. If there is a plethora of things that can be seen as "other than good," you can bet your best pair of Steve Maddens that in their lives there is something amiss and that needs to be healed, and that the longer they either do nothing about it and prefer to stay stuck in that energy, or, the more they remain unaware of the things that need to be done to make their lives be what it is meant to be, it will reveal itself.

Proof that you are not what people tell you that you are

You want proof? Proof is that you know within you that you are not what you are told. Proof is that it bothers you daily that people would say the things they do of you. Proof is that you want to no longer be what they are telling you that you are. And proof is also that you are willing to no longer not be yourself. To be something and someone who you are not is like telling Spirit that you were made wrong, and I am sorry but Spirit doesn't "do wrong." The only way that what other people say is the truth of you is if you are willing to believe their truth.

You need to learn about you, and you need to learn about the fact that there is a lot of good within you, so much so, in fact, that you have questioned the idea that someone else has become so hurtful in their manifestation of who you are in their eyes, and it might be that they are a powerful person in your life, but this is not their power speaking. Instead it is their bully talking to you. Their bully doesn't want you to be all you are, because their bully doesn't only see what it sees that is "other than good," but more than that - their bully sees and knows the reality of you. Other people have been trained to see what is in you that can be seen as being the thing that will make them have to work harder, and those bullies also need to be told that they are practicing "Other than good" thinking for their own lives and in their own minds, and if they are willing only to allow you to see in you only that which will make you uncomfortable then it is time that you thought about some word association and thought about what the opposite of those words are that they are saying and believing and know, too, that what they are saying - well, the opposite is the truth.

I have been told a million times that I am weak when in fact I am the strongest person I know. I have been told a million times that I am not smart enough to carry my own self through this life, but I know the opposite is my Truth. I have been told a million and one things a million and one times, and there was once a time in my life where I allowed what other people thought of me to be my energy. WHY??? Those are not my thoughts and that is not my energy, which means that ultimately, what their opinion of me is is not my truth. It can be their truth as long as they are willing to carry it, but the truth of the matter is that I will continue to make their truth be ONLY their truth.

It doesn't matter that I can do nothing to change their opinion of me, and why would I care to? It is their truth and I have no right to try to make them see me as the me that I am rather than as the me they assume I am and assume I will always be. I am not obligated to hold on to their truth of me. I carry no responsibility for them or for their opinion. No matter how much their truth hurts my ego's feelings, my Soul knows, all the way down the very bones of itself, that my truth is strong and my truth is that of a Spirit Warrior and my Truth is that of the ancients and mine is a Divine Truth that no one else can touch unless I let them.

This also is the same, my Loves, of your own Truth about you. No one can ever take away your own Truth. Your own Truth is Divine and Beautiful in essence, because your own Truth is your own Essence and since it is that we are meant to stand by and with the Truth, it is about time that you started shedding those old beliefs about you that are according to someone else, because unless you do you will never discover the Truth that is You, that is Gorgeously Inclined toward making you see the You Who is very dearly wanting to be seen by the rest of us...

We're waitin'...so hurry the hell up already, okay?

Yeesh !!

You can never uncover the Beautiful Truth that is You if You are too willing to continue believing the Truth that is not You....think about...

I LOVE YOU ALL!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Adviser. If you would like information about "ROCK your NUPTIALS" Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved