Life is Circular

Everything travels in a circular pattern

Gauge with me, if you will, the events of the last two or three weeks, and when you look back there, think about not what you see there but more how you feel about what you have been through...here we go...

I spend a whole lot of time online, working with people whose hearts have been broken, and in that time I have made many friends and associates and throughout that whole short time span I know that I learned one thing better than anything else.

I learned that we will be given signs when the lessons at hand are about done, and it is in that pressure cooker moment of when you think that the energy will explode that no, instead, it simply washes away with the falling of much needed tears. These last six months have been harsh, and stark, and paradoxical. These last six months have broken our hearts and stomped on our souls and crushed our spirit with a collectively felt cosmic bitch-slap that all at once, we felt, and all at once, we understood, and all at once, we had no real clue of not one damned thing other than that we were becoming The One. And that alone soothed us, gave us hope and made us think that maybe things would be okay...if only...

If only we did not have to hurt to get there, and only if we did not have to get messy on the way to wholeness, and only if we could try to evolve and stay in the same manner that we were. And I promise you all that it is indeed and absolutely we were trying to live with our Souls on two different sides of each other, trying to remain apart when there was never a time where you were without both sides of your Soul. This is the thing that became the gift that is within the aches and the pains and the hurts and all else that happens when the Soul of The One evolves...

The 'lost' Circle

Let's not beat around the bush here, okay? It is not a secret even to my very Christian Mother that I, her oldest, is very much the Mystic. While it took her a little while to get accustomed to the idea that I am and in fact going out into the very wilderness that Christ ventured into, just as she has,albeit in a less scriptural kind of way and leaning toward what is my own Scripture - that of the unspoken word and more about the things that stand out to our awareness the most and the things that resonate with what it is that we are doing at any given time. At this given time, we are, many of us, at the tail end of a lesson that has been ours for the entirety of our human lifetimes. The reason that I know this is because after what happened this morning and after I had been able to teach another individual what it was that they were missing in terms of what might have felt like the missing piece, I know that what I said made sense.

I know that what I was telling this father and his son in a Spiritual Counseling session to beat all others was right on, was said to them each in a manner that was clearly and well understood. I know that more than anything else that the moment that I was able to accept the thing that I had taught them was learned and at least accepted in kind that on some level, the circle had come complete. The entirety of the situation that was at hand had come to fruition and the lesson for all involved, learned.

NOW, the way that I knew that this was the truth was not so unbelievable if you are Spiritually Aware is that I have a Spiritual tool that I had been trying to find and couldn't...for weeks, my Jade charm was no where to be found, and, in fact, even the place that I found it in this morning I do not recall having left it there. ...anyway, so, before all the talking and the venting and all the other else, I am just pleased as punch to have happened upon my Jade Charm. Into my pocket it goes. I will not divulge the circle, neither which one had been made full, all I know is that prior to this discussion between a father and a son, that last thing I expected to do, on this Easter Sunday, after these last three weeks, and through all of the self-discoveries that we have each all made, was bother with the slightest thought that the finding of that Jade Charm was that on many, many levels, again, many circles have come full.

My Biblical Clouds

So, you know, it IS Easter Sunday, and we ARE in the middle of the most profound Shift in Consciousness than ever the human race has been in the past, and it hurts, like hell, the things that we have been through. I can liken the dark clouds outside to many things, but the way that they hang right now over the distant hills reminds me how much we have all sacrificed on a proverbial hill which exists in each of our singular versions of "far away." It is not in terms materially of which I speak, but rather and only in the ethereal nature of Spirit, of the "We" who exist but only and always from within. It is at that hill in the distance that I am able to liken on this day in particular that we collectively have sacrificed much for the benefit of the few, and it was the collective Soul of the Many which now, we prevail.

I am reminded by those clouds of a beautiful parable of a hill far away where an Only Begotten One had given up His ability to Breathe so that symbolically, we would all know what it is to have sacrificed one's own life and ones own ability to be who they truly are, for a short time, so that someone else would be able to live their one material dream. I see the ones that I have allowed to have been put aside, and ones which have been cast to the side, and see, too, there, that many more have as I have done. We have shed the clothes of the iniquities we were all taught were ours from birth. We never questioned the pomp and neither the circumstance that we ourselves brought to center stage in the show called "Our Lives, Collectively," and at once even though and paradoxically in the solitude that is the collective one of the whole of "I," where many of us stood, looking and pondering the things that seem to erupt laughter in the minds of petty fools and which cause the Knowledgeable to believe in their material world versus the blessed mix which is both the within as well as the without...all are one...mitakuye oyasin...kahi nui aloha ohana...one big happy family.

We have never not Been The One.

On a Hill, far away...

I stepped away from writing this for a few moments. I wanted to go outside and see what that hill looked like now, and while I sit here typing this I see that even the weather is in harmony with the thought that we have Become The One We sought out. On a Hill, far, far away in the bowels of our collective mind, there stands the cross that we bore as a Divine Creation, bearing the weight of the world, Knowing that Who We Are is Love.

We sacrificed ourselves for the very symbols of wealth, and when it was that we were no longer able to bear the weight of the cross that finally, we understood was not ours to carry, but that we volunteered for a very long time to carry, it became weird that we should no longer have to toil and strain to bear the weight of the collective few who remain unaware about the fact that they are choosing to bear the cross, even as they also choose to not bear that same burden of responsibility which onto their own backs they carried the weight of the world.

It is the weight of the world to ponder what another might believe to be the truth of you, and it is quite a load more to bear the burden of if we ourselves choose to believe it. We have borne this weight for so long that all we know is that we were told that we have to work for the gifts that we have possessed for many many lifetimes. There was never the absence of the Gift, and neither the working toward of having it "one day," but that a long time ago, when we were young, we were told that God chose only One To Be The One to save us. We were taught that we had to work toward earning gifts, and now we know that we have always had them and now, we no longer have to do anything but put them to use, because they are the singular version in us each of that Collective Rhythm that is the Collective Rattling and Humming of the Universal One.

You never opted to leave your gifts on that far away hill, but you laid them down there for a while, down by that imaginary river's side, so that you might find your way home, even in the darkness. It took some time to wade through the river and then to climb the hill and get them all back. It was not ever, guys, that we had to work FOR our gifts, but that those who chose to claim themselves the very most powerful learned that one day, the student learns, and the one thing that this particular student learned is that no matter what, I never have to work FOR my gifts but rather and only WITH them. This is the lie that we have been told for many generations. That we must seek our power with and from others, when really, we are on our own and in our own right, Powerful beyond our own comprehension.

So yeah, I did it....I left that cross on that proverbial hill, right there by that imaginary river's side, far away, where, from a distance I know that it is always going to be there, and that at a distance and sometimes, in my memories, it is actually a very beautiful thing to see and to know is always going to be there...

Happy Easter!!

I Love You All !
ROX 

To contact Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell, please click here. Please visit the Sisterhood of The Soul's Website, "Like" The Sisterhood Of The Soul's Facebook Page

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I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby...

Sometimes, when we cry, we cannot see that it is not only the end of things, but also, a new beginning...

"These last few days I have been a very -absent from my post - Spiritual Coach, Band Manager, Promoter, and yes, writer, and it is all because I am very dearly at the end of many things, and yes, my proverbial rope is absolutely one of those things."

And then, when I thought about it some more, it dawns on me....

I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby. Now, to those people who have met, or know of, or yourself Know my friend Gabby, then you know, too, that Gabby and I have a "Love/Irritate" relationship. If you are not aware of Who Gabby Is, well, then, if you do not know who She is by the time that I get to the end of this writing, then I would like you at this point to please go and read my other blog...go! Go Go Go! Nownownow!

Anyway...Gabby...Gabby Gabby Gabby...my dearest Lovely and very Loving Gabby, what the hell are you Thinking, Dear? Okay..honey, and yes, I AM calling you out - and no, I am not talking to the two other Gabbies who I know and have also met personally. No. This is a very different friend, this Gabby, and I am talking DIRECTLY TO YOU, GABBY, and now, you have it in writing, Love. So, Please...'auhea wale ana 'oe...pay the hell attention, yeah?

So, I am sitting here, and I start writing something toooootally else, and I get up and go to the kitchen sink and I am turning on the hot water and it dawns on me that there is a whole LOT of healing energies that are surrounding us all right now and the unfortunate part about this is that until about ten minutes ago, I did not realize that there is a huge difference in knowing that there is allllll of this energy and that not a whooooooole lot of us Knows what to do with it. Really. Think about it. (Yes, I know - the Sun IS in Aries...blah blah...ruled by Mars...War God - we got it, already - yeesh!). Soooooooo so so many of us have taught SOOOOOOOOOO so many people how to help themselves heal because we gave them the tools to do it through teaching them all with what we had gone through ourselves. Not the event, but how we handled the emotional part of it all.

Seriously, and  yes, Dannie...."Paradox"... think about it...

We all asked for the ability to feel better, but we were not really clear about HOW we wanted to feel better, and it is not that we have no emotions about a thing, but that, as healers, we have to detach from that emotional connection that we have with the people who are in our midst. Now, there are only a very small number of people who know my absolute weaknesses, and all of them also know how hard it was for me to be able to handle them as beautifully as I am and as I have. HOWEVER, ALL this time, and you all know this too, there has been this, person, in my life, who I am in harmony with about one HUGE life event that truly, it's time has come for it to Be, it has been ME who has NOT let go of the emotional part of this...healing...that is so very, very needed. So, as soon as that dawned on me, that it has been as much my energy of feeling bad about wanting that life event to happen which has kept me tied to it magnetically and not only to the detriment of EVERYTHING GOING ON IN MY OWN LIFE, but more, to the ...further pushing it away...this event...that I am in harmony with happening with this one other person involved....of HIS getting what he TRULY wants, too !

In other words, I have been keeping my Self corded to this event and the pushing away of it because I am feeling badly...and maybe a little bit guilty, too...for not feeling bad or like it would be a loss. It dawns on me that I dealt with this event when I knew that there was no turning back, because I knew then, too, that Gabby knew that...well, yeah...compared to what was my life back then to what it is now, I would not have changed a thing, because look at me Now. And Yes, Gabby - Now? Right NOW? It SUCKS and I am not liking one bit of what I have to go through right now. The question I keep on asking You is "Have I had enough yet?" and that is like asking for more of it. Yes, I have totally had ENOUGH of this CRAP!! Gabby! Come ON!! Seriously?

The Point Is...

The point to all of this weirdness is writing tonight is that many times when we are wanting something to happen, we want for it to happen so badly and with that desperate energy which is right behind the truth that the event NEEDS to happen in order for anyone to grow, and that detaching ourselves emotionally from a thing means just that - not only the sad ones or the mad ones, but also, the ones that you might feel on a personal level. I will not lie to any of you, and there are a few people reading this right now who also know that the truth of me is that the only thing at this point that I have seen and know is that from the paradox of the lesson at hand...

Gabby says that we have all had a lot of practice, every single one of us, of detaching. At this moment, there are about a half dozen pairs of eyes that have watched me go through a lot and GROW through a whole lot of detachment, mainly from them, only to return into each others' lives as the "evolved and learning" person who has replaced the one who had to go away to grow into who we are each becoming. No longer will we have the needs of the ego because that is Now, when the parts of our egos are being fed with what it needs and more and more of us are starting to see, too, that for real - online connections are some of the tightest bonds there are between friends. This is the beauty in the things that have made us all lonely and this is the gorgeous renewal that we each needed to go through. Proof of this beauty is in living Evidence right this moment and that proof bears each of our names.

We are becoming the Na Mamo, The Descendants, and we are each growing with the people and the Tribes who are those who have traveled with us through each and every time in our lives. That is the draw and the similarity and that is why we are who we are at this time and why it is that so, so, so many of us still hurt. We hurt because we are growing, and we hurt because we have to let go of all of those things that breaks us, again and again. I will not lie - I am having a hell of a time getting past what was my day, which I Know is why Gabby got in touch with me like She did.

Basically...guys? We are so not done getting over ourselves...

Oh...haha...yeah...here's a picture of my friend..Gabby...

I Love You All !!

ROX

Defending Love

It is not about equality as much as it is about Love...some words about equal marriage rights for all people

Marriage was not created by God. Marriage and the legalization of it between straight folks was created for property reasons and nothing else. Since it is that this is the truth, my own opinion is that everyone needs to just chill out, take a step back and realize that gays are not wanting to marry for property reasons, and neither only for equality.

They are marrying for Love more than anything else. Rather than defend my own position about this, instead, I will do what I do best and I will glorify and keep the dignity of the thing that draws any two people together and the thing that I know brings two people together for whatever reason at all is Love. It does not have to always mean that the Love between the two is romantic. Two friends who love each other like family can come together and not realize that even as the start of things was very different, it all boils down to the reason that any two people will happen upon the lives of one another. Once people can get past their own personal beliefs about what marriage is meant for, then and only then will things not be so dearly difficult to deal with.

We have all been poisoned in this country, mentally poisoned, with the hatred of things that are not familiar to us. I am sorry, but there will never come a day when this particular writer will be anything but in defense of Love - ALL FORMS OF IT AND BETWEEN WHATEVER PEOPLE IT IS BETWEEN, so bear with me and deal with it because that will not ever change. It is hurtful to make people feel like they do not have the same rights as human beings because a few unenlightened souls do not see past the idea that in their heads, being married is about which parts fit, being married is about two people getting together and who have paperwork between them that states that having sex is a given and a guarantee, that being married is anything about Love. Politics have no place in an actual marriage, and people have no right to judge others based on their own comforts and preferences.

I mean really, when you think about it...

It is no one's business who is in love with who, and it is no one's business if two people in love and wanting to be with each other enough will warrant them in love enough to marry. Nobody's lives will be impacted by gay marriage, and it is because no one's lives are impacted too greatly by straight marriage.

The reality is that this is not more than bigotry, and it is bigotry of the worst kind. Not because I love doing gay weddings, and not because a whole lot of gay men and lesbian women are very good friends of mine. I am writing this because while a whole lot of people believe that this is anything to deal with in regards to our thinking that a gay man and a straight man are NOT equals, I am here to lay it on you now that indeed, they are. Each of these two men hurt, and each get angry. Each of them pays their bills, takes their kids to school, and each of them have the same right as anyone else does to living a happy life.

I don't understand why it is that people think they have the right to judge other people over something as simple as marriage between two people who Love one another, and all this arguing over who is legally right to be married has allowed us to stray from the idea that while this is about a bunch of people believing that no, gays and straights are not equal, because somehow there are straight men on this planet who seem to think that they and a gay will not ever be equal, and when we think further about it, it boils down, simply, the idea that there are MANY straight people who think that allowing gays to marry somehow cuts into straight peoples' time. My question is "How?"

How is it that we can be okay with hating an entire group of people enough to make sure that the one thing that they really want is to be able to be together,legally, all while said same group of people doing the hating claim to be all about the Love? Really? For who? What club do people who Love each other have to be a part of in order to make all you fearful-of-everything-not-one-sided people see that gay marriage is NOT going to impact anyone in any way OTHER than that we will FINALLY have an entirely EQUAL SOCIETY?

Gay marriage is not only about a piece of paper, and surely it is not only about becoming equally human in the eyes of the world.

It is,very simply, about a group of people whose Love for each other being as big as that of a straight couple, and that is where the equality here counts. People who Love for real do so without blinders, without prejudice and without the thought in their heads that what other people think about them means anything when it comes to that Love between two people. No matter what anyone thinks of me after this, my position about this issue remains as it has always been.

So rather than continuing the madness of hating people who Love each other enough to marry, how about thinking about the last time that you were singled out and kept from something because of a reason that you had no control over? And no, no one turns gay...no one. There are no teen-aged people who would willingly be gay and at risk of being beaten to death by other teens. No one thinks about it that way. People want to believe that somehow, you turn gay, but you don't. No one would volunteer to be someone else's target.

Just like no one would volunteer to be someone else's target, no one would choose to die unless they were already sick enough and going to.

Mind your own business. Let them marry. Love is not a sin.

Judging other people is - or did a whole lot of people who swear that book is the truth not think about that part, too?

I Love You All !!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

What about YOU???

...yeah...what about YOU?

All of us were taught from a very young age to be kind to others, to do for others, and to be there no matter what. Yet, there comes a time when, in all of our lives, we need to just do like I have been saying for a long, long time - "to grab your hali'i and just chill." But we as a whole were never taught to just chill. Instead we were trained to believe that it is a lazy person who takes the day off and that it is the lazy AND selfish person who does so - takes the day off, no, not from living but from living for the idea that we are here specifically to do good things for other people and never believing that we also need for ourselves to do good things for us - are you not also human?

Last time I checked....

Last time we all checked...

Think right now about the last time that you offered to do something for someone else...ask yourself who exactly that action was being taken on behalf of. Refresh your own memory and think really hard about the thought that was in your head at the very moment you decided that whatever it was that you were doing was being done out of the kindness of your heart and soul, and then ask yourself why it is that each time you think about that one thing, you end up feeling dragged down and tired. I will tell you why in a minute, and yes, absolutely, it has everything to do with that emotional line of credit you keep extending to you, but it is not really for you, and when anyone is willing to go into any kind of debt, always, always, always, the risk must be dealt with not only because of what we stand to lose through that line of credit, but more, what we are not putting ourselves into emotional debt for on behalf of ourselves. This is not saying that you need to go above and beyond what is normal, but this is what I witness a whole lot of us human type folks doing.

We extend more to others without thinking that maybe we need to be as kind to our own Self as much as we are willing for others, and a lot of it is all because of what we learned as children. What we learned as children is and always has been open to scrutiny as we grow, is always open to a little bit of modification because the truth is that what applied when we were children will not technically and mechanically apply as adults even though, paradoxically, it totally applies. The way it was all taught to us is different than the way that we each learned each lesson, and the way that we carried out that knowledge (which stayed as Knowledge and did not become Wisdom until much later) was through trial and error. Through trial and error we also find out just how far our ego is willing to let us keep going before we find out that we are at the very beginning of a circle that we created, a long, long time ago, before anyone including ourselves was old enough to vote, and that while some of the circles meet fully and surprisingly awesome, there are those circles where even while we do not know it, see it or believe it, we have overextended that emotional line of credit.

I see a lot of us extending our graciousness without ourselves in mind, and yes, there are people who do things out of the very kindness of their hearts and souls, and these are the people about whom those like me who teach Soul Healing to others worry the most, because these sorts do not realize that they are not doing anything for themselves in a spiritual sense when they extend and expend themselves to the furthest degree they can, and more, they do not realize the detriment caused to their very selves when they do this. We all do this, and more often than not it takes someone else with the eyes which see the remnants of the Soul to reach on in and retrieve for them the truth that is "Hey man...it is great that you love so many people so, so much...but what about you? What have you done for yourself today? Why have you not given YOU the breaks and the credit that you are willing to extend to other people, and why is it that you are not putting at least a little bit of yourself aside for yourself?"

A Little Bit for Your Self

Referring back to the truth that we were all taught to do for others, to do unto others, to give up more than we need to, so that we could feel better and know that we did something selflessly for someone else, the onus in this thinking is that we really need to be selfless and without thoughts for ourselves that we need as much Love and care as does anyone on this earth does, and more than we know and care to think, we end up at a deficit, hurting inside, and most of the time it is due to a lack of communication.

By a lack of communication, it is not only the actual non-verbalized communication, but the clarity with which we all try hard to strive to achieve. It is frustrating when we ask for the issue to be fleshed out, and then when we still cannot understand or wrap our minds around the longer, scenic route version of the issue, we get upset, and it is when we get upset that we really need to stop ourselves quickly, take a step or two backward in our minds, just for a moment, peruse the thoughts there about the thing at hand and seek out the thing that is making us crazy. When we locate it, normally, it is not even what we first thought it would be and is usually comprised of more than only one "thing" that we ourselves might not even understand, even though, ethereally, we asked for that one specific thing. The understanding of that one thing, however, is a completely different animal all together.

If it is that a certain energy or situation has invaded or remains to invade your life at present moment, it is very simple - it needs some attention.

It needs some attention

When an issue needs some attention, it is not that we are not able to deal with it, but more that we are not prepared to look at it, let alone deal with it. The reason that we prefer not to look at it is not because of anything other than that the amount of work on the Self is needed is huge in our eyes, and we do not like working on ourselves, because that means that what we cannot see what others can see and that which frustrates and confuses us the very most is also the very thing in our lives that we need to give some attention to. When other people come into our lives we are given a mirror and somewhat of a clue as to the things that invade us daily, and those things are brought to us through other people. We are each others' mirrors, and what we see in our mirrors can never lie to us - we have to be willing to eat it all- the good, the bad and of course, the ugly, and deal with it and not have to never have the option to NOT deal with it.

This is where the challenge lies, folks - not in the saying or even the acknowledgement of a thing, but in the thought that we alone are who needs to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. It is a challenge for our minds to take in, absorb, think about, and of course, believe that who we are, in a few ways, is not everyone's most favorite flavor, so to speak, and who we are in relation to who other people are is not controlled by us and will never be controlled by us, and this in and of itself is a challenge to accept. When we think about our having a particular way of being or belief about us, and we believe that no one else will take us as being serious about a thing - this is when, and yeah - I AM telling you this so that you will be able to recognize it and go within to fix it - we really, dearly need to think about the actions which followed the words we spoke. Words are very powerful. Words have changed the lives of millions of people all within the strum of an accompanying guitar, the prose which is contained in a handwritten letter, the characters on the screen in front of you. All these things are methods of words being communicated, of energy being sent out and if the words and energy all fit nicely, the end result which is hopefully the thing that we needed so that our lives will not be so, so itchy in the brain anymore, or at least less than previously.

The End Result is really a beginning

When we are able to think differently about a thing than we have in the past, and when we can accept that this new thought is likely the best way to think about a thing, this is when the ease of weight on our shoulders begins to lift. It is almost as though we have been given a new toy by thinking new thoughts. And really, they are not new thoughts, but rather thoughts that have been reworded and thoughts that make us want to try a new way of being, so as not to go through the pain of it all again and again. When we are willing to only see from our own eyes, the benefits included in hopefully helping other people becomes void because the reality is not that we did anything for others so as to look good ourselves, but because we expected the outcome we saw in our heads as being the only one that would happen. We did not leave open the idea or the possibility that maybe Spirit has a better idea and that yes, some of the work that we have to do is not the accepting that others will feel differently, but that we might not.

When we do things for the benefit of others, and only others, and we think that we are doing it for anything other than that, and we find ourselves jacked up at the end of it all, it is our Kuleana, our responsibility to our very selves, to see to it that we have no reason for that same pain to revisit our lives anymore without our inviting it in. Anger is pain caused by hurt, and hurt detriments into whatever is the energy of the moment, which is another reason that I am always telling people to be careful of the words they speak and write, because those words are more powerful than any one of us knows, and the power is all ours - this is the part that we do not understand. We do not understand the power of our own words as they land into the ears of others, and we have no idea how to clarify ourselves once something has been misread. Unclear thinking makes things difficult and when situations are already difficult, and we see what we see and hear what we hear, we must think to ourselves how we might make it so that we will not see these things, these happenings in a way and from the point of view of others only. We have to also include ourselves.

All Truths apply to all people. People hurt, and people do foolish things, say foolish things, have foolish thoughts, and through it all, we usually forgive, even though we do not forget, the pain caused in us but not really meant to be something hurtful, even though in our intention was pure and was intended to help another person through their own stuff. When we are asking for peace and forgiveness, we are more prone to do what we think others need, and so we proceed, again, to follow our own thought and perhaps even starting the new cycle with the old situation that keeps coming back again and again. If you feel like you have been running and going no where, check yourself.

Think about this for a minute and maybe it will clarify for you a little more the gist of this writing...

If these truths apply to other human beings, Loves, why would they not also be the truth of you?

Aloha Oukou....I Love You All !!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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Been there, done that...

It isn't that you are doing anything wrong, but that you are doing things the same way you always have...

Yes. Yes, indeed...change, evolution, things that are different....all scary. We do not like the idea that life itself is a process of evolution much more than it will ever be a process of elimination. We think in terms of the here and now, and that is all fine and good, but the fact remains that while we might choose to buck change and stay with our heels well dug into the ground, life changes. Life evolves and no matter what it does for or to or with us, change is inevitable. Can you imagine what it might be like if babies never grew, and if those who were meant to go Home into the next level of Being never left this physical life, just how packed this place would be? Can you even begin to ponder the idea of what would happen to every single life form on this planet if everything that showed up in this lifetime never ceased to be?

It would be a mess, and toilets would be overflowing with the remnants of the madness of days and nights of parties gone by. The streets would be filled with cars being driven by people learning to drive alongside all those other people who are very well versed anymore in cursing the very existence of same said new drivers. Our neighborhoods would be filled with the ruffians who all of us try dearly to ensure remain in their own environments.

And do not get me started on our pets....not enough litter boxes, guys....think about it...

...change is not what I am talking about only today...read on...

It is not change that I am writing about, or the idea that we have to change, no matter what, but more, once it is that we know the changes are taking place, we are left with the thing in front of us, and usually the thing in front of us is the thing that we wanted. The pain in the okole of it is that we get to that point, and while that thing that we wanted is ultra cool and awesome, we find that even though it is everything we thought it would be, it simply no longer applies and no way does it any longer belong in the list of the things that we want to see in our lives.

And the fun part of this is not that we hear our own voice saying, or rather, asking "AGAIN? REALLY?"

Yes. Really.

We are the ones who, without our consciously knowing it, call into being the repetition which prompts the questioning of Spirit to gain clarity on something that we thought we knew everything about. It can drive a person nutty if they stop and think about all the things that we are doing and going through, over and over again, until one day we answer that "WHAT? REALLY?" ourselves by FINALLY accepting that we now know that not only is it impossible to try to change something the same way that did not work in the past, but more, we are putting more and more energy into it, thinking that we are not trying hard enough, when in fact we are trying way too hard for that one thing to not work again.

We silly human types ridiculously choose the way that our lives end up being. We do not realize that truly, just as my pal Melody who writes the Deliberate Receiving Blog , it is not only the thoughts that we think but more the vibration of our own energies behind it which brings into our awareness EVERYTHING, yes, even the things we would rather not have there. And we do what we did, over and over again, with the thought at the front of our mind being that this time will be different, all the while that at the same time, our gut instinct is screaming at us "that's not iiiii-iiiit!"

Thought + Energy+ Intention = Results

How much energy are you investing into the thoughts that are becoming your reality?  How much time and effort are you putting into the same damned thing and how much would you like to bet that you are going to also go through the same frustrations all over again because the result at the end is going to be the same as it was when you had the thought that you were not going to go through this crap again? You can...we can tell ourselves all we want that it all won't happen again, and in the pit of our Soul we know, too, that since we are doing the same thing again, the same outcome is what we can expect.

We put SO much energy into things, things that we should just forget about, and things that frustrate us and things that make us go nutty and instead of looking at all the things from the vantage point of observer, we take it all personally and find out through trial and error that the things that we did over and over again have, again and again, brought us right back to square one. This is the point at which we begin to hear our own voice asking why it is that we have to keep going through these things. The reason that we "have to" keep going through these things is simple - we keep doing the same things about the same things over and over again, expecting that our energies and our efforts will produce a different result.

We know better than that. We know truly that the things that we do that are similar to the things that we did for this thing that is in front of us will probably produce the things that we do not want, again even !!

It begs the question of how much more of your time, your energy and your emotions are you going to bother with putting toward a thing that, from the historical point of view, that is, never turns out the way that we hope it will? How many more times are you planning on throwing at a thing that makes you crazy, angry, hurt, cry, get emotional over, fight with your loved ones, think like people are against you...when all you really need to do is think in an overall manner about the one thing that you know needs doing, and the one thing that you alone can change? How much more of your precious energy and positivity are you planning on burning through just so that you can end up right back at square one where you started out at so that you can look at the situation, see where it is that you keep making this happen (at the very first thought of how to fix it? Duh!) and choose to do it all over again, or, to do it different?

How many more times are you going to sit there, angry at the world, and not because of anything more than that you went through what you went through, again, and again, you tried to fix it by using a method that was not the correct method, and again, you sit there, wondering why it is that you feel like the butt-end of the bad joke that Spirit is playing on you?

You really don't need to lose your mind or your cool.
Really, all you need to do is accept that the way you are going about the things that drive you crazy is the wrong fit for the thing at hand.

It's like that thing about a fish climbing a tree...not gonna happen...

All in what you are willing to accept, guys....

As always...I Love You All !!

Aloha
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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Our Shared Native Kuleana

A Message to my Global Island Ohana (and the rest of you, too!)

There is a time when we must realize that truly, enough is absolutely enough. It has come, the time, for us - all of us, but namely those who share ancestry with me, to stop only looking at what is different between us and to embrace that which is the same. While this message is meant for those with whom I share a collective ancestry with, it is also for the rest of the world of peoples, and not only the indigenous type....read on...

A wise man once said, "I do NOT judge a Hawaiian by his blood quantum, nor the location of their home. Hawaiians are Hawaiians are Hawaiians whether you have 1% or 100%. I just care about how much a Hawaiian cares for Hawaii. You may live in freakin Russia...but you are still Hawaiian by blood. However, if you deny being a Hawaiian, or if you look down upon your own people...well then...you are who you are...Keep reading up on the issues. Education is the power. Enlighten others, even haole about us. We need more allies and not enemies. Choose to educate rather than intimidate. Remember that the person with the loudest voice is not necessarily the "winner." Love Hawaii, no matter where you may be. K? 'Nuff said." (Clifford Nae'ole)

I could not have said that much any better myself, and it is a sad, sad testament to our position in life regarding who we are, not just in the world, but more importantly, with one another.

The Life of The Land...

It is our very rallying cry to the masses, to remind them just how Sacred the Land of Aloha truly is, and even while many of us leave the Mother Land for other shores, the idea that we are different or even damaged because of where we were born is the thing that is separating us, and this is the collective self-imposed ideal of who we truly are in the world that too many of us have carried on through our lives and have chosen to impart onto the generations which follow our own. It is very easy for anyone to quote that the life of the land is preserved in righteousness, in the pureness of thought, in the very Aloha that we are all and each so very lucky not only to be a part of, but more than that, that we are tasked with the Kuleana to pass on that Aloha to our children. We are not only the messengers, but are the very message itself, of Aloha, of all the things which embody us as a people who were placed into this lifetime and on this planet to preserve our roots through measures of sharing that which is Aloha, and Aloha, I find, is free...just like we should be.

Free of the thought that we are different, and free of the belief that we should ever believe that somehow, we are not the same because of whatever it was that someone else told you was the truth. While that truth you were told might be someone else's, it never had to be and never has to be yours. It will never be mine, and that is a promise.

Very dearly, we must think about and ask ourselves the question that the song, "Hawai'i '78" cries out " "AUWE!" to us, and not only because of the railroad tracks and highways which cut through our Sacred ground, but because in all of the thinking throughout the history of ourselves, we have managed to find ourselves on two different sides of the ocean, fighting with one another, and not because of how much we all - every single one of us - Loves that little island chain which is in the middle of the sea, but because we simply do not understand each other.

My thinking is that it is time that we learned to know one another, because the truth is that we all already know each other. We know that we are strong in the shared effort toward solidarity, toward Lokahi, and we know that our collective heart is broken just as is that of our Native American Nations Brethren and Sisterhood, and all for some of the shared same reasons. It is in the failure to realize that it is not the government who has made us hateful, but our misunderstanding of that anger that has been left to fester for many generations. We must turn our hearts and our minds away from those things which anger us about ourselves, and know that our anger is expected, but it is misplaced. We should be more inclined to turn that anger and that rage, that historically there collective tear stains which mar the very face of Aloha, from those things which continue to divide us into the blended heartache that will save us, if not from the assumptions that others have of us, but more, the thoughts that somehow, we should be against one another, with one set of us in the Mother Land, and the rest of us here on the Mainland.

We should be, but we are not. 

While I know that the collective of parents who have brought into this lifetime the new generation which seeks solidarity, there still is the rest of us, the rest of us who learned from the generations which preceded our own how to choose to Love rather than to hate or to be angry with our very selves, because when we are able to hate others for no reason at all, we are also more inclined to only see what is collectively "other than good" about us all as a whole, and this self-hatred is where who we are and what we do are not aligning correctly with who we need to remember being. We have been blessed with the gift of being the purveyors of the Aloha Spirit, and instead of embracing the part of us which is all Love, we chose, instead, to take up the sword of historic anger and resentment and make it our own. Do you not all see that this is not what we were meant to do with this birthright? Are we all so very jaded by our shared and ancient past and what we each think or have thought about ourselves that we cannot begin anew with the idea that we can let go of the past and embrace the future which together, we cannot miss the mark.

Together we cannot miss the mark of showing to those among us that this is who we are, and that this is what we are all about, and that no, we do not hate you because you were born elsewhere instead of in the islands. Together we can keep the good energy that is meant to be our own so as to be out in the world, showing  the Light of Aloha and shedding the hatreds of the past. There is no more need for hatred and there never was, no more need for the massive and collectively felt inferiority complex that we ourselves have brought to our own lives. Where we are meant to be strong and together in thought is where we come to a place within us that we cannot see past those things which have blinded us all the way back to the cave, and if you have not seen so lately, we were outta the cave a long, long time ago.

Out of the Cave and into the Light that is our Shared Kuleana of Aloha

This part is particular to all tribes, no matter the origin, and most notably the tribe called "humankind." We need dearly to stop seeing that which is not the same about each other, because in that lack of sameness we are negating the other parts, the parts that tell us we have more in common than we don't. We have been trained so well in the idea that we have to be the best, have to be better than anyone else, even and especially including those to whom we refer as being "our own," that we cannot see past the judgments that have been passed down through the generations that bespeak only that we are to perpetuate the things that break the collective heart of us, and crush the collective Spirit within the Tribe called Aloha.

The Tribe called "Aloha."

This is simple - Love each other.

Love each other because we are the same, prone to all the same heartaches and triumphs, and all that which makes us crazy, all that which makes us cry, seethe, laugh boisterously or cry quietly. Love each other because in truth we are each other, and love each other because truly, no matter how much stuff we each have, all we really and truly have is one another, and the more that we close our eyes to this one truth, the more "hamajangs" life becomes for us, all of us, as no one is immune to that which is not Love as much as we are meant to embrace what IS Love.

There is no more reason that we have to do anything that will hurt the very collective Soul of us. We were never required to see our differences, never needed to know the very distance across thousands of miles of ocean from "91768" to "96813," ever, and the longer we choose to only move ahead with the hatreds of the past and carry those same hatreds into the future, and the more that we impart these lessons to our collective Na Mamo - our own cherished ones...the keiki who we brought into the world...the longer and more these things which mar the very face of Aloha that is ours, the longer we stay saddened by the death of the Aloha within, and it is the Aloha within that is meant to be shared, not the guy down at the grocery store on Ventura Boulevard whose boss told him that "today is Aloha Friday! Today we wear our flowered shirts and today we wear our Bermuda shorts and today, yes, today, we shall opt to wear long black dress socks with our sandals...yes, that day is today!" for whom the Kuleana is most dearly important.

We need to live by the words we speak, and we need to start the delivery of that combined energy of Aloha now. We cannot do this on "Hawaiian time" anymore, and no one but us is meant to fix the energy, to live the Kuleana that tells us all and each that we are the very embodiment of the Soul of Aloha, that ours is the Kuleana which tells the keiki in our lives that they, too, must carry this very torch that we are so very and dearly wanting for the flame to never be extinguished.

It is up to us, folks, to see to it that we take care of one another, that we Malama the 'Aina that is ourselves, that is one another, that is truly the very heartbeat that is that of the People of Hawai'i...

As Hawai'ians, it is our duty to portray the beauty that is the Soul of Aloha. As Human beings, it is our duty to the very global Tribe, the Ohana that we call "ours" in the global sense, that we care for one another, always, because without each other, we do not exist.

Without Aloha, we are not ourselves.
Without Aloha, the Hawaiian race has no claim to fame.
Without Aloha, the Human Race ceases to Be.

Any Questions?

I thought not....

I Love You All !!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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Circumstances

Our Circumstances might be similar, but...

We humans have a bad habit of thinking that since our own personal circumstances are a lot like someone else's, that how we handle our own stuff is how everyone else will be able to as well. I am a sinner in this church, and these days I try dearly to remember that while what I have gone through might be a story that someone else could tell and said story would also be their's, how we each handle our own lives is up to us and what will serve us rather than make things harder for us. 

Don't assume that you know how to handle someone else's circumstances, not even if you have "been there."

While we might "get it" in terms of being able to relate to someone else due to the similarities in circumstances, it is arrogant that any one of us would believe that since something worked for someone else that the same measure of what worked for them will also work for anyone else. While we humans have mirrors to our own selves all over the planet, the fact remains that we are each different from one another and that no two ways that any one similar circumstance will be alike because if we bother to remember so, it is because no two people are alike.

People are different. While we each may have things in similarity to others, we are each markedly different. We are each made up of many, many different things - yes, DNA and genes and blood and skin and bones and tissue - but also we are each made up of our personality, our likes and dislikes, the things that scare us, that make us angry, and of course, the things that make us happy and the things that warm our inner selves. Couple all of these things that we already have in common with all of the experiences that we each have had to this point and we find that there are a whole lot of things that bind to one another, but just as well there are a whole lot of things that make us each very unique and this is where the thinking that "To each his own." 

"To each, his own..."

If you want people to think for you, then go ahead and try to think for them, but I promise you that you will be met with a degree of displeasure, and simply and only because we do not all handle our stuff the exact same way anyone else will. While I cannot be too sure of it, it is said that Einstein stated that “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

While I cannot prove that Einstein is who coined this thought, I can say that it is the truth. Think about it for a minute and you will come to the same conclusion that while one thing worked for you, it may fail horribly for another. This is part of why some children do not do as well in school, or we think, as do others, and why it is that hiring a group of people to come up with marketing ideas does not need someone in finance to help them unless the ideas have anything to do at all with finances. We cannot all do everything that we need to have done, and when what we need to have done is a personal thing for any one of us, we also cannot tell other people that they should do things the way that we did them because they might not be able to do things the way that we do them. For instance, when we are teaching our children to do anything at all and they are not "getting it," the most fail-safe thing that we can do at that moment is NOT to judge the kid because he or she cannot do this thing the way that we do it, but to allow them to take a look at whatever it is that they are trying to do while we step away for a moment so that we are not only not getting their way, but also, our own. 

We are highly emotional when it comes to doing things correctly, and we are more so when it comes to an issue that is highly personal for us. When it comes to the most sensitive of topics and situations that we share in common with others, the hardest thing in the world to NOT do is give anyone instructions on how to do things our way. I said it. Deal with it. We humans are such an aggravatingly arrogant lot that we really believe that if our methods do not work for people who are not us that THEY must be doing things our way, wrong. 

Really? You mean to tell me that you know what WILL work for someone else and that you know that without a doubt it WILL work for them and if it doesn't work for them that it is THEIR fault?

Okay...while you might be sorta right, that you would blame the person who was not you for screwing up what did work for you is not their fault. What is their fault is not replicating the thing that you did, which was think about a way to come up with something that they COULD do, but what is not their fault is not being able to do what you did to come up with an agreeable resolve at the end of it all.

We cannot hope, even pray, that someone else will be able to do what we did, ever. When are we going to learn well enough that just because something works for us that it might not be the same for everyone else? Think back to when you were a kid and all those times that your parents showed you how to do something and while you tried, over and over and over again, you still could not have the same end result, making many days and weeks of your not being able to go outside and hang with your pals because you screwed up something that you thought you did right, but it was not right enough.

Well, that is because the instructions for having done it right were not you enough. This is the thing about showing others - we have to remember that we can suggest, and we can show, and we can teach, but we cannot learn, and we cannot force to learn, and that when we force to learn, and we force to agree, we are not in the energy of right thought. While it is technically right action if you got it right, there can never be any such thing as "right resentment," because resentment is a naturally occurring human emotion and we need it as a gauge for our own Path, it is not something that needs to be permanent, and we all know that more often than not, resentment is a big fat deal of a problem. Resentment is bred, I have observed, more than not, because of something that we are not allowed to have or do, or worse, something that we tried to have or to do and could not because we were shown someone else's right way to do it without regard for our own way of doing things. 

The onus can be put on both parts of this equation, but again, I must to defer to the idea that fish do not climb trees and no matter how much you can train a fish to do anything, the one thing that it cannot do, no matter what, is climb that tree like a cat instinctively just knows to. In that same light, we have to be able to perform our own healing, even when we have a healer we must, because a healer's job is only to guide our clients to that healing. In the case of The Sisterhood of the Soul, our healers live by this "einsteinian" thought about fish not being able to climb trees. We know each of our clients are unique, and we give respect to the idea that since a fish cannot climb a tree, that also must mean that each person on the planet is unique enough to come up with some sort of something resembling relief for their own lives. 

We can point out anything we want to anyone we want to, but unless we are also sensitive to the idea that people have to be able to learn to come up with their own way out of anything, and unless we realize that we just have to accept that even our own kids are unique to who they are and that not another soul on the planet can do things the way that anyone else can, we will continue to live with the frustrations that we know we can live without in our lives. If we are just more willing to see that we are different, that some folks take longer to get through their stuff, that even though something worked nicely for us that it might not be the same for someone else, we, too, will remain in the energy that other people, because they did not do something the same way that we did, are not as good as we are.

We will stay with that wrongness of thoughts that tell us that we are better, stronger, wiser, smarter, prettier, whatever...than anyone else is.

And y'all gotta know already that to expect someone else to behave in a manner that is outside of themselves that already, and on your and your ego's behalf, they have possibly hurt themselves more, and all because of what?

Oh yeah...so YOU could go out into the world and tell people that you were the reason that they succeeded....

Kinda makes it all different for ya when I put it in those terms now, doesn't it?

Yup yup...I said it, now deal with it...I promise, cookie, you will be just fine !!

That is, as long as you pursue your own ways and not try to impose them onto someone else as being the ONLY way and the ONLY RIGHT WAY.

Think about it...the last time you did something that was way, way important, and you did it someone else's way and it did not turn out well for you, how did you feel after the fact? Not too good right?


Riiiiiiiight !!! 


I Love You All !!
ROX


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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