I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby...

Sometimes, when we cry, we cannot see that it is not only the end of things, but also, a new beginning...

"These last few days I have been a very -absent from my post - Spiritual Coach, Band Manager, Promoter, and yes, writer, and it is all because I am very dearly at the end of many things, and yes, my proverbial rope is absolutely one of those things."

And then, when I thought about it some more, it dawns on me....

I have this friend. Her Name is Gabby. Now, to those people who have met, or know of, or yourself Know my friend Gabby, then you know, too, that Gabby and I have a "Love/Irritate" relationship. If you are not aware of Who Gabby Is, well, then, if you do not know who She is by the time that I get to the end of this writing, then I would like you at this point to please go and read my other blog...go! Go Go Go! Nownownow!

Anyway...Gabby...Gabby Gabby Gabby...my dearest Lovely and very Loving Gabby, what the hell are you Thinking, Dear? Okay..honey, and yes, I AM calling you out - and no, I am not talking to the two other Gabbies who I know and have also met personally. No. This is a very different friend, this Gabby, and I am talking DIRECTLY TO YOU, GABBY, and now, you have it in writing, Love. So, Please...'auhea wale ana 'oe...pay the hell attention, yeah?

So, I am sitting here, and I start writing something toooootally else, and I get up and go to the kitchen sink and I am turning on the hot water and it dawns on me that there is a whole LOT of healing energies that are surrounding us all right now and the unfortunate part about this is that until about ten minutes ago, I did not realize that there is a huge difference in knowing that there is allllll of this energy and that not a whooooooole lot of us Knows what to do with it. Really. Think about it. (Yes, I know - the Sun IS in Aries...blah blah...ruled by Mars...War God - we got it, already - yeesh!). Soooooooo so so many of us have taught SOOOOOOOOOO so many people how to help themselves heal because we gave them the tools to do it through teaching them all with what we had gone through ourselves. Not the event, but how we handled the emotional part of it all.

Seriously, and  yes, Dannie...."Paradox"... think about it...

We all asked for the ability to feel better, but we were not really clear about HOW we wanted to feel better, and it is not that we have no emotions about a thing, but that, as healers, we have to detach from that emotional connection that we have with the people who are in our midst. Now, there are only a very small number of people who know my absolute weaknesses, and all of them also know how hard it was for me to be able to handle them as beautifully as I am and as I have. HOWEVER, ALL this time, and you all know this too, there has been this, person, in my life, who I am in harmony with about one HUGE life event that truly, it's time has come for it to Be, it has been ME who has NOT let go of the emotional part of this...healing...that is so very, very needed. So, as soon as that dawned on me, that it has been as much my energy of feeling bad about wanting that life event to happen which has kept me tied to it magnetically and not only to the detriment of EVERYTHING GOING ON IN MY OWN LIFE, but more, to the ...further pushing it away...this event...that I am in harmony with happening with this one other person involved....of HIS getting what he TRULY wants, too !

In other words, I have been keeping my Self corded to this event and the pushing away of it because I am feeling badly...and maybe a little bit guilty, too...for not feeling bad or like it would be a loss. It dawns on me that I dealt with this event when I knew that there was no turning back, because I knew then, too, that Gabby knew that...well, yeah...compared to what was my life back then to what it is now, I would not have changed a thing, because look at me Now. And Yes, Gabby - Now? Right NOW? It SUCKS and I am not liking one bit of what I have to go through right now. The question I keep on asking You is "Have I had enough yet?" and that is like asking for more of it. Yes, I have totally had ENOUGH of this CRAP!! Gabby! Come ON!! Seriously?

The Point Is...

The point to all of this weirdness is writing tonight is that many times when we are wanting something to happen, we want for it to happen so badly and with that desperate energy which is right behind the truth that the event NEEDS to happen in order for anyone to grow, and that detaching ourselves emotionally from a thing means just that - not only the sad ones or the mad ones, but also, the ones that you might feel on a personal level. I will not lie to any of you, and there are a few people reading this right now who also know that the truth of me is that the only thing at this point that I have seen and know is that from the paradox of the lesson at hand...

Gabby says that we have all had a lot of practice, every single one of us, of detaching. At this moment, there are about a half dozen pairs of eyes that have watched me go through a lot and GROW through a whole lot of detachment, mainly from them, only to return into each others' lives as the "evolved and learning" person who has replaced the one who had to go away to grow into who we are each becoming. No longer will we have the needs of the ego because that is Now, when the parts of our egos are being fed with what it needs and more and more of us are starting to see, too, that for real - online connections are some of the tightest bonds there are between friends. This is the beauty in the things that have made us all lonely and this is the gorgeous renewal that we each needed to go through. Proof of this beauty is in living Evidence right this moment and that proof bears each of our names.

We are becoming the Na Mamo, The Descendants, and we are each growing with the people and the Tribes who are those who have traveled with us through each and every time in our lives. That is the draw and the similarity and that is why we are who we are at this time and why it is that so, so, so many of us still hurt. We hurt because we are growing, and we hurt because we have to let go of all of those things that breaks us, again and again. I will not lie - I am having a hell of a time getting past what was my day, which I Know is why Gabby got in touch with me like She did.

Basically...guys? We are so not done getting over ourselves...

Oh...haha...yeah...here's a picture of my friend..Gabby...

I Love You All !!

ROX