"What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly..."
(Morticia Addams)
What is my reality is not going to be the same reality for you. What I might see as completely lovely you might perceive to be a lumpy turd. It is all in your perception, the way that you also see your own reality. This is what is meant by someone telling anyone else that even though you might see things one way, no matter who it is that you are talking to or about, whoever it is that is not you will...WILL see things differently, will always have a different perspective than you will or that you do.
Take for instance, the idea that it is Domestic Violence Awareness month. To a lot of people, the ones who have not been the victim in such ugliness, it is just another thing to fight for, if fighting for causes is their thing. To the person who was victimized it is completely and totally not the same. To the families and loved ones of those who have been victimized, it is not the same as the victim/survivor. That I know that there are men who are beaten on this planet is one thing, that the women who put hands on a man will have a really bad excuse for having behaved in such an ugly and permanent-in-the-target's-mind manner is quite another thing. That there are women on this planet who will defer to the idea that it is perfectly fine for a woman to put hands on a man is one thing (stupid douchey chicks that they are) but not that a man defend himself in the manner that he should (meaning call the cops...no one is gonna think you are awful or weak...it is far better than being seen as a man who beats on women) is quite another.
We all have a different perception of things. It doesn't matter who hit who first, and it never matters that someone actually thought that it would be (it is not ever okay to defer to physical violence). It doesn't matter who thought what when speaking in terms of who is affected by the reality which is created by our own thoughts. In the mind of the victim, and I know this because I have been there, the thought reads like this: "I am not good enough for someone to be good to me. I would probably be no where with no one if I did not have this person so I guess I should just deal with the things that I can't make him see are not the truth." and this thought spawns the reality that is fear and self-loathing. From the point of view of the victim I used to be, there were times that I believed that my words caused the blows. From the point of view of the Survivor who I earned being there were times I wondered why it was that I never did something stupid to this person who was bad to me. From the point of view of someone who is on the outside and peering into the lives of those who are now victimized and who are part of my own smaller groups of people, I am outraged. From the point of view of The Healer and The Shaman, I am compassionate and ready to teach these victims how to become Survivors.
It really is all in the way that we look at things
Perception is a funny thing, because, again, what is one way to one person will totally not be the same way for another. What I see as being the ocean, another will see as the beach. What I see as the freeway, another will see as being madness in motion. What I see and perceive anything as is always going to be what colors my own awareness of things. Things that I abhor might be someone else's favorite thing. Take for instance the fact that I do not like the use of animals in captivity for the purposes of human entertainment, human and corporate profit, abuse, even sacrificial purposes. Those animals were not placed on this earth for us to harm, but to utilize in the manner in which they were intended. However, there are a lot of people on the planet who still feel that this is fine and dandy and okay to do. This is someone else's right to feel this way, just as much as it is my right to not be okay with it.
The way that we perceive anything at all is what makes our awareness, is what colors our world and really, lends to who we each are. Some people are okay with violence, while others are not. The way that we see things is what makes us be who we each are and also makes it so that we see our lives the way that we do. It is our perception that leads to the energy that leads to the manifestation of the things that make up our lives singularly. One cannot expect that a 9/11 survivor who is with their family will see things the same way that a family who lost their family member to that tragedy. One cannot expect for a mother who has not lost her child to know what it is like to lose their child. The most tragic thing in life is that rarely are we humans given to the idea that other people exist, that other people have a different reality than we do, no matter what, and that we need more than anything else to respect that this is the truth.
What is your truth is not going to be someone else's
I can only make this as clear to anyone as they will understand it from my point of view - what it is that you believe will not be the same as someone else. Whether you tell them that it is the truth, or perhaps you know it to be factually true, the bottom line is that no one will see things exactly like you will. I know that there are people reading this right now who believe that the dead cannot talk to us, cannot return, and my belief is that they do not leave us, ever, and that only their physical selves go away because the soul is eternal. When I tell people that I see someone who looks like this, with a scar over this eye and that they have this color hair is when they either will or will not believe me when I tell them what I tell them, and normally what I tell them is spot on. Another time that people have a hard time believing me is when I tell them that this, that or the other is going to happen, so please be prepared for it. It is not until they have told me later on that what I told them happened.
They are like this because of their own limited awareness. If we are aware of things the way that we are meant to be, there would be no reason for people to tell others that it ain't right to put hands on the person who you say you love, because when you put hands on them in an act of violence it is like you are telling them that they are owned, and ain't anyone in my world property of anyone else, no matter what the hell anyone else believes. It is not right that there are people on this planet who equate a past history or even a marriage certificate as documentation or proof that they are rightfully in the mindset that they should be, that bringing the ugliness that is abuse to someone else so that they, the abuser, can feel better about themselves by placing hurt and blame on the person who they swear they love. Abuse is not love, but control. Some people like to believe that beating it into someone else, the idea that who they are in their victim's life is more important than is the victim themselves. That I have been the victim is one thing, that I know that this is the truth (because I lived through it myself) is another thing, but that I cannot even try to make this the truth of any abuser is still yet another thing.
We cannot change other people through force. We cannot change other people at all, and those people are just going to be who they are regardless of what anyone else thinks. The way that one person perceives the other's actions will cause a reaction or a response, depending upon the personalities of each person involved. One person might actually believe that the person who they attacked deserved the beating that they received, and I will be the first one, but surely not the only one, to tell anyone at all that it is never okay to hit anyone else, that no one, no matter what, needs that bullshit, that there is a lot more going on than is perceived on the top of things than what any one person will perceive to be exactly like our own. While our own thought about things might be similar to someone else's, it will not be the same. What makes a man angry about the reality that is domestic violence on women might be the thing that makes another believe that some women need to be hit. What one woman might perceive to be her man just being a man and looking at other women might be another woman's reason to lose her cool and strike the man just so that he knows that she is hurt.
What one person might perceive to be the thing that is the Karmic debt, another might be inclined to believe is the lesson that the person asked to learn. The way that you judge, look at, perceive anything at all is yours and yours alone. You cannot expect someone else to totally understand where it is that you are coming from, and other people cannot expect that you will know where they are coming from, not even if you both went through the exact same things. It is in the way that we perceive things and how it is that those things make us feel about anything at all.
We cannot hope or believe that anyone else, no matter who they are, will see things how we do.
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX
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