Saturn ...Big Daddy Energy

Saturn...we can refer to him as "Big Papa..."

When the energies are super heavy and we cannot seem to shake certain thoughts and feelings and the like, you can bet that for sure, you are experiencing Saturn energy.

Saturn. We think immediately about its lovely rings and imagine, too, the things that we did when we were children and first learning about Saturn and its rings and where it is in the sky. Yet, in a spiritual sense, an astrological and according to each of our natal charts kinda way, when someone tells us that we are experiencing Saturn's energies it means that we are being taught a lesson by the astrological task-master. 

The question that is asked by Saturn, if it could speak vocally, very dearly is "Who's your daddy, baby?"

Lord Saturn....Lord Vader can't even come close to Saturn. Saturn, astrologically speaking, is about our ability and our power to deal with what life hands to us.. Saturn provides us with the tenacity to realize our fullest potential and, as well, is the planet which makes us either be brave and face our dragons, or slide back into familiar discomfort where at least we know what to expect there. I say forget that. I say deal with whatever it is that is being a pain in the ass right now, because whatever it is, no matter who triggered what emotion they did in any one of us, it is not about how THEY feel, but how you respond to how you are feeling. I could explain it like this, and maybe you will get it a little better. 

Say a guy goes to the putting range and he takes his awesome Scotty to the greens with him. While he is there, there is a man, a golf coach spying his putter. The golf coach would like to try it out because he might be interested in buying one. Immediately, the guy with the Scotty Cameron putter is already thinking that the guy wanting to just merely try the putter on the green wants to buy HIS particular putter. So, the guy who owns the putter puts all of his focus on this other guy buying the putter, merely because the other guy showed interest in testing out that particular putter. 

The guy doesn't buy the putter, because he simply couldn't spend the money. The guy with the putter is already angry because the other guy didn't spend any money on HIS putter. It wasn't what the guy with the money said, but what the guy with the putter THOUGHT the other guy said and was implying. Think about everything that you have heard and what emotions you have gone through over and over again because someone else said one thing, and you assumed that they wanted to buy that thing, and how convenient for you that you had that thing....but wait! 

Wait a minute - the other guy only wanted to TEST the putter. Scotty Cameron Putters are NOT CHEAP, and they are worth every penny spent on one because the simple fact is that they go up in value. I know this. Two such putters live at my house. (No, they are not for sale.) My point is that we have to listen to what other people are really saying, and realize, too, that when what they are saying and what you are hearing are two different things.  It is NOT what someone else said to us that affects us, but is what those words trigger about something else, always. These are normally life lessons that take many, many years for us to really learn, and more than that to master. The guy wanting to test the putter is unaware that he has brought to the owner of that gorgeous Scotty Cameron putter what can be thought of as Putter Guy's Saturn come to life and served up as the lesson.

Saturn is the bringer, through things and people outside of ourselves, of the lessons that we have no choice but to learn. We either learn them, or we continue to have to deal with the annoyances that eventually become huge, gimundo, pain in the ass lessons that we sometimes continue to ignore.

We remain being akin to a freak on Saturn's leash when we refuse to learn our lessons. We think that people leave us because of us, but no...it is not us, rarely is it ever us. If someone is going to bail on me, I will know. I will know it by the energy that I receive. There are a whole lot of energies right now that I am attuned to. Earlier today it was my challenge to think about why it was that I had mainly negative emotions. It was not til much later that I accepted as this being an exercise in many things, but nothing more than what can be called the truth of other people and how we relate to and accept those truths which might be about us but are not ours.

Saturn and its influence causes us to deal with what we do not want to, at least in some part, and Saturn is who makes it so that we want to do better, want to make the right choices because Saturn also, like a good father does with his children, will make you finish what you started, no matter what it is. Saturn is the perfectionist, not the bully.  Saturn is the Father influence in our lives, the part of us that makes us know that we have certain things that have to be seen to and that no matter what we want, what needs to be done will get done. It is the influence of Saturn that makes us face our demons and our fears, sharpens us where we refuse to make ourselves better and tells us that we have a mess to clean up.

And Saturn ALWAYS gets his way, just like Pluto always gets its way. Saturn is that bothersome little kid next door who just cannot seem to NOT poke your angry little dog with a stick, making the little dog bark and drive you batty. Saturn are the things that are outside of us that affect our inner selves, that make us cringe and call on us to take action where we know that we need to take action. Saturn, because it is considered an "outer planet," makes us deal with the things that are outside of us that affect us emotionally, meaning that those things and people are also outside of our control and that the only thing that we can do in order to deal with what is happening outside of us is to deal with how we are feeling on the inside when something Saturnian happens in our lives. It could be ANYTHING at all really, and it will happen not only when we need it most, but  more, at the most inconvenient of times for it to..

Saturn can be thought as the planet which shows us where we will run rings around folks and also where we COULD run rings around folks. It shows us symbolically and with those very same rings what our limitations are, highlights where we need to be more cautious, where we need to be conservative about things that we think about, and it is the great marker of where it is that we need to practice restraint, where we need to be orderly in our behaviors and our reactions to what has presented itself as a lesson for us. It is the Law, of the highest order, because it is that Law that we ourselves must implement so as to exact a bit of change within the part of the world we address as "Ours."

Saturn makes it so that we have to face who we are through the things and words and whatever else comes to us through others. It is one of those planets that makes life difficult on us so that whatever lesson we are learning we will learn and will not ever have to be faced with again, not with a situation like the ones we cannot stand, but more, the response to that situation. Saturn, like most human fathers, will not allow us to NOT do our best, to NOT give ourselves every good chance that we can have at a great life. 

Saturn, for all of its heaviness, is more like that father figure in our lives, the man who raised us, who always wanted us to do our best and always told us to accept a challenge. This is what Saturn's purpose in our lives is all about. This is the part of our lives where we do not realize that when we say that we wish so and so would die, that we end up, prior to them dying or upon them becoming ill enough to lead to that point, also having to go through some sort of death, but not in life, but of the Ego. Saturn is that planet that makes us deal with our zipper being open as we deliver a speech and we do not realize why it was that all of our classmates were giggling until we look down and discover the reason. Saturn is that person who, no matter how much we try not to pine and wish for them, doesn't even look our way until we are no longer interested and now we have to deal with the other side of it, which is the part that tells us that we wasted our time in chasing them because we knew what it was that they did not want, and what they did not want was us in the manner that we wanted to be in their life. Saturn is the feeling we get when we do our best and still, someone else is awarded with the promotion or the new office or the trip to Cancun...

Saturn is not the one who knows that this is what it is doing. Saturn is only there as the energy of what it is that we have to learn through other people, what it is that is outside of our inner world that needs our attention as to how our inner world is affected by the outer world.

Saturn...it is the planet that, if it were a man, and you were a woman, and said man had you in the grips that can be akin to our being Saturn's freak on a leash, would be the one to dangle your wish in front of you while you begged for mercy and he then grabs a pair of handcuffs and while you are still on his leash, he handcuffs you to his bedpost, blindfolds you, and while you can hear him snapping a whip on the floor in the room he has you in, and in a very, very devilish manner, pulls your leash and demands that you answer his question...and his question is always "Who's your daddy, baby?"

Who is the Saturnian energy in your present life coming through and what, really, is Saturn's lesson for you?

Think about it...I bet you know...and I bet you know all of it, just based on knowing, at least now, why it is that what someone else does that they do not realize they are doing, bothers you, even though they are clueless as to why...

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

Poking bears and hand-feeding sharks...

You can't avoid sharks by bleeding in the open ocean

The last few posts have been the sort that explain to the majority of people who are evolving, reasons why it seems like right now there is hurt that seems impenetrable. The truth is really stranger than that - MUCH stranger in that the hurts that we are going through right now are the very lessons that we need to learn. The problem is NOT that we need to learn them but that there are still people in this process of evolution who, for the life of them, still believe that somehow, someone else holds or is the key to them feeling better. 

NO ONE BUT YOU holds the keys to your own healing. No one can make what you are feeling go away. You have to be willing to look at it, touch it, feel it, ponder it, all without also upsetting it with assumptions and without being neutral. Even though we need other people to sometimes help us get through things, the bottom line is that we alone are who is meant to be our greatest healer and teacher. There are some people who, for the life of themselves, cannot bear with feeling the greatest pain they have, so they numb themselves with drugs, with other people, with the unholiest things they can find. Now, this is not to say that from time to time we will not have a human moment where the things that we once did we will do again - quite the opposite. It is when we have that epiphany where we are at the bottom of the ocean looking up to the surface and not seeing the light of day that we choose to swim to the top and in some cases, to NOT swim up at all.

The problem is that some people choose to swim injured, and more tend to tempt fate by jumping into the ocean while bleeding and thinking that being attacked by a shark happens only to other people. These are the same types of folks who see the sign that reads "do not mess with the bears" and who willingly run up to a sleeping bear in hopes for a better look at it only to realize that the bear was not asleep and was waiting for them the whole time. It is not until the realization of reality comes along, shakes us up and turns us inside, out, that we begin to understand that when it comes to our healing, we are who our healer should be. Other people guide us, pray for us, share energy with us, but we, alone, are who hold the Kuleana to who we are, all the way down to our Shadow.

The sharks and the bears, so to speak, tend to lend a bit of danger to things, gives it a spark and a rush like nothing else can, and barely escaping with their lives people will court danger and try dearly to make things outside of themselves be what heals them from what ails them. This could be anything, really, from things ingested to things collected - no matter what, the way that we handle our pain can be seen in the way that we do our lives. If you ever have been in the company and the homes of hoarders then you know the idea of covering one's pain with things that are not needed. Hoarders are very nice people who do not realize that they are addicted to their things and the collection of things for whatever reason they may have. Touch the things that they don't realize own them and their lives, and you will also know what it is like to walk into the wild, naked and unprepared for a chance meeting with a bear who will, because you are in your natural hide, look like another animal who might even be tasty. Hell, even if you are dressed you are just one more thing that either threatens the bear's sanctity and well being, the bear's cubs, the bear, period. 

We dare others all the time to not be there for us, and then when the time comes and we have seen that they are evolved to the point where they need to be, and we choose to not do our own work until we have the guarantee that they have changed and now we can, too, is when the bears and the sharks in the ocean that is our own psyche begin to attack. They attack by telling us that we are not good enough for someone else because that someone else told us that they felt how we wanted them to feel about anything at all. Then, when we are told that what we have been saying all along - that they need to stop thinking that it is okay to run naked in the wild when bears are present, screaming and yelling like a crazy person and hoping that it will be enough to stave the bear off, and we find ourselves running as fast as we can away from said creature, we begin to truly know that the truth is the truth and that no matter what we want to believe, just like a shark in the wild or a shark in a tank is still a shark...we will still be that person who, even though we go through the motions, we have not even begun to think in the manner that we need to heal and we need to accept that which we have a hard time accepting.

Take for instance the fact that I do not like saying goodbye, to anyone. I am like this because for the bulk of my life people have, with a swiftness, left my life and me with the feeling of being abandoned. Always the reason that they go, I know now, is because they have growing, evolving and learning to do, and if they are meant to come back to my life, Spirit will make that happen no matter what. Still, though, it is in my brain, from the years and years of the adults in my life when I was a child telling me that I needed to stop being a brat or else no one would want to play with me. Then as a teen, I was told that I was rejected because I would not "put out." As a married person, was told that I was too stupid to get along in life without someone else making my bills being paid possible and that the reason my friends left me is because I was a stupid bitch and no one wants to be around a stupid woman.

I believed this. Sometimes I still do and it normally takes someone who cares enough, sometimes more than only one someone, to remind me just how loved and accepted and cared about I really am, that all those people who told me that crap are "booger status" anyway and that their problem with me is theirs, not mine. To this day, though, I have issues with being abandoned on every level. It comes from the fact that as a child, on more than only one occasion, I was left out. While this rarely or without apology happened with my father's side of the family, it happened a lot on the other side, and to this day the only thing that I can hear some of these people telling me is that it was too bad that I missed out and that I should have done this, that or the other in order to be included. This is where a lot of our issues come from, the idea that we were not good enough and more, the fact that no one told us otherwise. As a parent now, though, I am aware that these things happen, but in no way would I ever tell any child that the reason that they were not included is because sometimes adults can be boorish morons without a soul enough to tell the child that they are sorry they are hurt. 

This is the part where the bears and the sharks come into play, because as adults those children grow up with those feelings, the very ones that were had as children, and we are placed back there in that time and in that energy and we are made to feel like that again. It was these last few days that taught me a whole lot about that phenomena, and I know that my being upset at all was my own sign that made me think back to being a 7 year old kid, sitting under my grandmother's dinner table, all the family sitting there too, and it was awful to hear these people say bad things about my dad, just because he is who he is, and more, to have heard about myself that "at least she is pretty because Lord knows she is like her father...can't think cause she has no brain... at least she will marry because a man cannot resist a pretty face.." Yes...you are right...how awful to hear this being said, and how hard it truly is to have to hear these things even though I don't bother with those people anymore. The words are what stay. Words are powerful. You heal from bruises, but you never forget what you heard that hurt you the most. This hurt me the most because it told me that I was unacceptable as I was, as I am, and to this day, from time to time, I will go through these emotions.

This is where the big cat in me comes out, teeth and claws bared, daring people to tell me that I am not loved enough and that is why I fear being left alone. 

No, the reason that I fear being left alone and with a sense of abandonment is because the adults in my life while I was a child were not too careful when they chose to raise the child who was me in to the jungle cat that I can become if you hurt me. If you hurt me I will come unglued. If you hurt me I will let you know that you have, but also, if you hurt me and you do not realize that you did so and you have the very stomach enough to see it and know it and make it right, then the big cat slinks back into the recesses of the soul, back to the shadows where she rests until needed again. This is what makes me become the me who feels like she needs to protect the child, to mother the little girl who always felt so all alone even though now, I realize that I was not left alone as much as I was simply just good on my own. 

No one watches out for the bears and the sharks or the jungle cat in other people, are not really very aware of what inside another person will come creeping out if we are not more mindful of what our reaction would be if we were in their place and wearing their soul. Now, sometimes we wear the souls of others because we share the souls of others, but most of the time when we hurt, it is because someone else brought up within us the energy that we have shoved down into the deepness that is our selves, into the underworld where the sharks are in charge and where the bears are not scared to leave the cave and where the jungle cats hide in the trees in our minds and wait for us to unwittingly walk into what is going to become a big ugly mess. 

Human type folks do not realize that not only are we blindly walking into those places that we also fear, but when we are there we have a habit of poking the bears, hand feeding the sharks, and dangling our bloodied selves in front of the hungry jungle cats. We open ourselves to the pain without the thought or the recognition that we are inviting danger to our souls. Sometimes we need to go through a dangerous situation, but most of the time, we walk into them on our own without the thought in our heads that we may come across those things that make these animal spirits within us all come out and see the light that we are. They are threatened by the light, because in the light we see them for what they are, and in the light we are also seen by them. When we are able to confront them and experience the fear we come to also realize how big an imagination that the child within has and we find out that the bear's shadow was created on the wall of our mind by the light that we are and that it was only a teddy bear. We find out that it was this same shadow bearing thing that also illuminated the big scary cat as being the cat that sleeps on our feet at night, and the shark was merely the goldfish in the bowl on our vanity.

We begin to see through the light that we are the scariest things, are not what they appear to be, are not what they are in actuality. We find that what we thought was scary was simply just the shadow and not the reality that was exposed by the Light.

We find that we are not in the wild, but graciously are placed in the loving arms and care of Spirit, protected by the light emitted, not by anyone else but our very selves. We find out that the bear, the shark and the jungle cat were only those things in our imagination and that we were not the ones poking them but that other people were. We find out through our own lessons, our own shadow, and our own selves that we never needed to fear. And really, sometimes, we need to be glad for the fear, because really, sometimes, it is the fear which shows us our shadow and our way back to who we are...

Who we are is simple -

We are the Light that illuminates and exposes the truth to us...

I Love You All
ROX

Symbolism : The Meaning of Things

What are your symbols telling you?

All of us relate things, people and events to other things. We ask for signs and for the most part are not aware that always we are being given the answers that we are asking for. Whether we are seeing a lot of one particular animal, or if we are hearing the same song in our heads just out of the blue, or perhaps it is a recurring thought followed by the incarnation in the Now that is tangible, we are always answered. 

If we think about how we doubt our own selves, and how much we do not believe in the power of our own thoughts and our own prayers and our own energy we would see, too, that over the years, from as early as childhood when we could have seen things in a different manner because as children we have what is called an imagination, we would see and know that we, each and every time we prayed or wished for things, were never not answered. The answers to our questions have always been there, have always been waiting for us to see them, hear them, know them, but when we are young we are taught that what we cannot see, that what was not told to us by an adult, that whatever it is that we are trying to find out can only come from someone else. As we grow into who we are we allow this thought to become what is called a belief. 

When I tell people about a belief (as opposed to beliefs that are religious) I remind them that everything that they have thought, judged, pondered, all of it, has come from someone else, was set into our little minds a long, long time ago. The part about this happening that is the worst is that, for the most part, what we are taught by our parents were taught to them by their parents, and some of what they were taught cannot, does not and will not ever apply to anyone, namely us, because always, later on in life, we chafe from the belief that was planted there by another person.

This happens all day, everyday of our lives from the moment that we are born until one day we wake up and realize that the people who imparted these lessons onto us are also and still being taught and made to believe the things that they were taught, and more than that, sometimes these people we call Mom and Dad chafe under the misguided belief that is the belief they still adhere to that not only no longer apply, but more, they are following the beliefs that people who have died and likely never really followed themselves are still making them live by. And they are being made to live by these beliefs out of nothing more than simply the habit of not wanting to disappoint their own parents. 

You read that correctly - exactly what I am telling you is that all of everything that you went through as a child is a result of what your parents were taught and what they, through the teaching of their own parents, through what your parents likely still cling dearly to. Thinking about that one thing will cause a shift inside of you and one that will make it possible that anyone will now think about who they are in relation to where they have been in their lifetime and how they go to the place they are in terms of the soul and in the Now. When we are kids we are told that angels cannot be seen by our naked eyes, but we are not told that we can feel their presence. We are told as children that we have to grow up, study hard, follow the rules of society, or we will not be loved and as we grow up our own souls not only question these rules but also, for a lot of us, end up bucking against whatever it is that is in disagreement with our souls. 

As children we use our imagination to get us through things, to help us make sense of things that our little brains cannot deal with even though our little souls are being taught whatever it is at that time in our lives our souls need to learn the most. It is at this time in our lives where we are still brand new enough to be able to play make believe. In the Law of Attraction we are asked to play pretend and to do so until what it is that we are playing pretend with starts to feel real. This same thing is what we do as kids. Never ever tell a child that they are crazy when they are talking to the air, because what they are really doing is learning their own symbolism. Children are masters of manifestation, are masters at freedom of thought and action, are masterful in their innocence and wise beyond what the concrete adult world allows them to believe is the truth. We want to place ourselves into the competitive ranks of the material world and we are taught that always there is to be a winner and a loser of everything. This is where we learn anxiety, learn to judge others, and learn to be dissatisfied with everything in our midst, but most of all, ourselves.

It is also when we learn to associate what we see or hear or feel or think about the most in terms of what those all symbolize for us personally. We are allied with the cosmos, are cradled in the loving arms of the Mother Goddess, of Father Who is the All that Is, and in their presence we know that we are safe. This is the set of parents which guide us, is the set that sends our way these little happenstances that while some might be the same for others, are unique to ourselves and our circumstances. Learning your own symbolism begins in childhood, when we are still young enough and wild and primal enough to think in a manner that is not encapsulated in the tangible world. Too often we see in our educational system the rigidity that is conformity and ultimately we temporarily rob our kids of the one thing that could be their saving grace, much as it was mine.

I grew up in a rigidly religious home. I knew my parents loved me, but the stricture of their structured thinking hampered my ability to venture into my own thoughts and it was through fear of God, through the threat of burning forever and on in to eternity that my upbringing came with. I shunned the thoughts that came to me again and again, was scared to death when I would begin to see patterns and know the outcome of things. I was always told that psychics were tools of the devil, but that prophets were the mouthpiece of God. These are some of the things that I believed, are some of the things that prompted me at the age of 4 to pick up the newspaper and start reading, and later on, find the dictionary to see what some words meant. When I started learning the meanings of some of the words that my parents used in order to keep me controlled and believing what I sometimes did not believe they also believed, I also began to know what I have come to figure out was their way of making sure that I followed what they believed even though I did not realize at that time that I did not and could not believe, myself.

It is because we are manipulated as children that we fear the things that we believe, fear the ideas that we are told to believe. It is because we so dearly, as parents, want our kids to do the right thing, and the one thing that, looking back on my life tells me, I knew and now have manifested was that no matter what, while I knew that I needed to raise my kids to be fine and upstanding, I also knew that if I wanted them to be the free spirits that I never was allowed to be that I had to allow them to become who they needed to become. My kids are masters at the art of deciphering their own symbolism, are masterful at the art of playing pretend, because my kids also know that in that game of pretend there is much wisdom to be had and that it is not my right and neither my kuleana, their own soul's responsibility,  to ensure that they understand it all from their own perspective. The only way that anyone grows up to follow their heart is if they had been raised to do so to begin with.

This is not at all to assume that parents who follow certain religious beliefs are also parents who will not allow their kids to be who they are even if who they are seems like they are becoming someone who we would not ever like. It is to say that we as human beings do not like being wrong, do not like being alone in our beliefs and if we have people who were raised in a belief that our own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs will be carried on into the future. No one thinks about it in terms that not only are nice things carried off into the future, but other, ugly things are, too, and this is also something that we are taught as kids. 

We are taught that if something is not going our way (not necessarily the right way but only what we are taught to believe) that it is wrong and that it must be dealt with harshly. We are taught to hit and to hate and to hurt others and we are taught that the rules of life are more rigid than what is the truth. The truth is that life is only harsh if we believe it is, and if we believe it is we only do so because we were either taught that it is, or, it may well really be harsh for us. 

In order for our little selves to make sense of the harshness or to make sense of things that make us happy, we play association games with ourselves. We do not realize that the pictures we see, the butterflies that we chase, the worms that we dig up, the flowers that we smell, the cat we call ours, the entire world is the answer to our soul's wish. We do not realize that all these things that come to us give us clues to the things that we want to know. We are told that our imagination is only for our play time and that we need to be serious when it came to our homework. From this was begat generations of people who, because they ignored the things that kept creeping up on them in whatever form they would, are clueless to the things that will salve the soul within. 

We do not realize that what we imagine are our own Guides telling us what we want to have answers for, and we do not know that when we are talking to our imaginary friends that what we are doing is having dialogue with our inner selves and that our inner, higher and untouched self is guiding us and is doing so through hints and clues and telling us that we need to investigate what it is that we see and what we feel and understand is what the answer is. As children our saving grace is our ability to pretend that what is happening has other meaning that is not there and in our faces. We pretend that what is going on is somehow a fairy tale and in that time of our lives we learn to cope through the measures of our own imagination. It is at this time when we begin to learn symbolism.

When I was a kid I thought of butterflies as being the transportation of the faerie realm and I imagined these higher beings, both the faeries as well as the butterflies, somehow saw us as people who were at their service. I would talk to them, would chase the butterflies through the garden in the backyard, and sometimes, I would be back there with the neighbor's cat and together the cat and I would chase these little people who rode on the backs of butterflies. I did not realize that really, what I imagined was there may very well have been there, and at that time in my life, I did not realize til recently that the message that I was being given was that there is an entire other world within our world, that it is possible that there are faeries who ride butterflies like some of us humans take the bus everyday. It taught me what I know now, and what I know now is that what we see on the surface of things is not always what is only there. What else is there in this world are people - different people - who think and act and do things differently than we do, but at the same time, who also feel and love and such the like, like we do.

In knowing my own symbolism about things at all I know now what I was not paying attention to then. With my own little imagination I came up with the thought that there is a whole other world and one which we might not understand, but that in that world we have certain similarities with one another and that at the core of all of life is Love, is Life and is the machinations of the everyday world that we see through our own eyes and with our own thoughts about it. I was taught diversity and acceptance, of a higher sense of respect, because as a little girl, I did not know that I was not waking the faeries up, and what would happen if their tiny little faerie children were late for the butterfly to school? 

We are taught things through symbols. 
What are your symbols telling you? What is catching your eyes the most and what is in your thoughts all the time as it pertains to things within your life?

'Auhea wale ana 'oe....pay attention...you are about to get your answers...

Aloha
I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

Birthday Cake and Ice Cream Soup

We know it is time to celebrate, so why all the tears?

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...you would cry too if it happened to you..." (Lesley Gore)

I don't even want to talk about this feeling I have right now. However, because I am not the only one who this is happening to, I also know that on some level that there is a purpose, at least for me, to have to go through the ridiculous crap that I go through. I used to think that I went through these things for other people, and because I thought this way, I blamed them for the way that I felt, even though I was who hung onto it all. The reality is that what is happening to and within me is also happening to and within the people closest to me, and in that same manner, this is also true for you and yours.

While I very dearly Love what it is that I do with my life, there are times that things begin to get very overwhelming, to the point where I just need to no longer be the one who people turn to. It doesn't last very long, the not being the one who people turn to, but when I need someone to turn to, I find that in the same group that I hang with, those people are also going through what it is that I am going through, and we are going through it at the very same time. There is a whole lot of change going on right now, and for a whole lot of people who are not clued into the energies, it can be daunting. For those of us who are clued in, even as we know how daunting it is, and even as we have been telling everyone within our reach that this is the part that we waited for, but that this is also the most difficult part of all, to have to wait for the things that we see coming our way. We cannot see what is happening because we are so inclined to purge the ugliness from the things that have happened to us in our pasts that the only thing we can do and feel right now is the pain.

The pain comes from a lot of things, even from the things that we think are not going to cause us any sort of pain. Light workers Love everyone, and with that Love we have for everyone is also the disappointment. Couple that with the losses and the break ups and the things that make us feel awful and feel like we are somehow not right with people (but the truth is that we are actually absolutely in line with what we all need to be in line with ) and what you have in your midst is a reason to sing "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to..."  

We can see the things that no longer need to be in our lives, and with a swiftness we also know that there are some who we can depend on, some who will give the energy that they can be depended on, and others who, for the very life of them cannot see anyone else's pain at all. That, or they see it and they just do not realize that their not wanting to help deal with it in others only robs them of what they need, and what they need is that experience of truly having been a healer to another person. They miss their cues, their clues, and they continue on blindly, behaving as though they have all the clue in the world when in reality, there is still a lot of work they need to do, not on anyone else other than themselves. Yes, this applies to MANY healers, and in some cases and on some days, my very self. 

Even healers and strong Shaman need other people - without other people we have no mirror, no clue as to what and who we are and where it is that we need some help. We all know that on some level we each need a little bit of help, all need someone or a few someones there to tell us that everything is going to be okay and that what we are going through is nothing abnormal. It is not abnormal until we are ready to see to it that way. It is not abnormal until we are not willing to look at what it is we have put out there and where it is that we need to be. It is not until we have gone for a little while without a corresponding energy that we realize that we are on the verge of something bigger than we expected. The thing is, we have to expect only what we can handle. A lot of people are perplexed at the idea that there is an equal and "other than good" to every "good" and that right now, even in this moment, we are going through it. 

It is that weird pain...the one that you cannot quite place your finger on, the one that feels like somehow by the end of your day you are going to give birth to that thing in the last sci-fi alien movie you watched. It is that pain that you know is teaching you something, and the pain that makes you take a second look at the things, situations and people in our lives and ask ourselves if we somehow can escape it. The best, most honest and quick answer is no...no we cannot avoid it, and no it will not feel good, and no, you will not learn without it in your face and if it is in your face, at that point you need to really take a good look at what it is that YOU need to think about in the situation. I have lost a lot...a whole lot, and I still stand to lose more. Some of it needs to be lost, and like others of late, the rest sucks to lose. In my case, I not only lose my possessions, but I also lose people. Sometimes it is by choice because I know it is the only way to no longer hurt, but more likely than not, it is through fate and what they need to learn that takes them from my life. This is not only about things that have happened this last week, but for MONTHS now. You can guarantee that at this point, I am feeling every bit like that three year old at her own birthday party who is told that she gets to have her piece of the birthday cake but that she has to wait til everyone else has theirs first.

And really, this is what has gone on for a long time, in the lives of the many, and all of us are asking the same question of Spirit - "Hey, Spirit...if I am so damned good, and if I deserve the life that I see and that I am building, and if these people or these things are meant to be a part of my life, why the hell does it hurt so much when the ones who are no longer purposeful have to go?" 

It hurts so much not only because our egos want us to hang on to just one more person, or thing, or situation, but because we had hoped so dearly that we would not have to hurt again, that we would be able to have a break in between the painful situations, but that is not what happens.  At all. What happens is that we go through what we will, hopefully we learn what we need to, and then we choose to not ever go through those same things again because now we can see those things coming our way. It is the foolish person who thinks that somehow, what you did in the past when this sort of situation came up to try to fix it, that you can try one more time and that this time it will work....it is insanity at its most pupule finest. Believing that we can fix what is wrong the old way and the way that never worked in the past causes one to be insane, and if you think you are not insane in trying to fix things the same way that didn't work in the past...go for it. Have at it, cookie...good luck with that, by the way.

We can carry the ire from the hurt, or we can learn from it and move forward. We can go on and on about what is not fair, but that is not going to get you anywhere that you have not already been. We can think of things in a way that we didn't in the past, and still have it in our hearts that we are going to be the ones who come out the victor in a pretend competition to find out who is better at trying to convince someone else that perhaps the thing that keeps coming back to hurt us is meant to be in our lives. While this might be technically true, what is also true is that we have the option to change things, have the opportunity to do things differently. We have a lot of options. Everyone knows what I have to say about the difference between options and choices, and the same is the truth here as well. We do not realize that eventually, if we are evolved enough,  our lessons end up feeling right, like that which is hurting us is also teaching us and that which is teaching us is the salve to the wound left on our souls. 

Like that child whose birthday was ruined by a person who did not think that the day was that child's, the person who did not see the important nature of that day and that cake and that which can now be called "ice cream soup," we grown ups also end up in a snit, end up feeling as though what we go through is for nothing. We know better. We know that things never remain the same, even though the more that they change the more they feel familiar. We know that for every tiny little thing that mars our souls, crushes our spirits a little more, breaks our hearts and makes us ache, that there is going to come a day when all of these things that seem like they are too much for us to handle are more like the knife which cut the cake in the first place - exacting and harsh, but needed in order that everyone can indeed have a piece of it. In our little three year old minds, though, all we know is that it is our birthday and that we have been told that we don't get to have a piece of the cake that is ours and that everyone else gets to have theirs first. When finally it is our turn, we find a mess of color and cake and frosting, mixed in an ooze that used to be our favorite flavor of ice cream and is now looking more like a puddle made up of our own broken heart and tears. 

When we finally realize the specialness of ourselves, finally realize that without our existence there is no reason to even celebrate, this is when our time waiting for cake makes sense. While we were looking at our puddle and our multi-colored heart ache, into the room came another surprise, and this time it was all and only for us, piled high with our favorite toppings, with a big fat brownie and this time there is no puddle...just good ol' delightfulness, and this time?

This time it is all ours. 

We do not realize that we have reasons to celebrate, that sometimes those reasons come with conditions that only have to be conditions until we accept that they don't need to be. When we can see through the eyes of the child within, and we can tell the child within that it is not our turn, but that when it is our turn, the outcome we end up with will be the best thing in the world to us. 

While we wait and pine and hurt and be mad, Mother Goddess is there, always holding our hands, cutting the cake, and waiting to surprise us with things and events and people we never dreamed would be part of our awareness. While we wait and pine, Spirit is creating through us the life that we see, and then one day she surprises us with the best thing ever and suddenly, through our mother Spirit, we are shown by her what a gift we really are and that really, she has been there telling us this all along, even while our little heart was breaking into a million pieces.... 

...just like a good mom should...

I Love You All
ROX 

Ravens and Dragonflies and Beetles, oh my !

Our personal symbols come to us in a language that we each can singly and personally understand, even though we do not realize it

"Signs! Signs! Everywhere! Signs!" (Tesla's Cover of "Signs!" by 5 Man Acoustical Band )

I sat outside these last few nights listening to the music of Nature. With my eyes closed I could hear everything, from the chirping of crickets nearby, to the call of the corvid in the distance. 

No matter what, with my eyes closed, I could totally hear that the world is a living, breathing entity. With much reverence, silently I sat there while my Soul drank in all of the elixir that was produced by the calls of the birds from their nests and caves, the crickets which accompanied their minstrels in the distance, the bats in flight, the owls as they cooed. As I sat there, I could hear the flapping of wings, and I could hear the faint call of the wild coyotes in the distance, and all of this phenomenal energy was produced in the very vicinity of CalPoly Pomona. All of this nature was to be had in a place where wild animals are synonymous with criminals and their activities. 

Yes, all of this wonderfully gorgeous nature music was heard and produced in a place where, on the top of things, is more akin to producing a strange mix of intellectuals and ruffians, of eccentrics and hard-asses, and in all of these things there is a song. In all of these things that you have read here there is a song, and the song is different for me than it is for anyone else. While I am sure that there were a whole lot more animal noises going on, the only ones that were prevalent in my awareness were that of things which live their lives mainly in flight. One of those things was the flock of Crows which, until the night I was given the gift of a natural symphonic orchestra, were just crows. I mean, it is not like I am not aware of someone else's symbolism, not like I am unaware of the meaning that the crow, the hawk, the owl, the anything at all carries for others. 

I was, however, not very aware of what my own symbolism of those creatures were. Until I was visited by more than only the feathered winged creatures of late, I was only readily available to accept someone else's version of what those creatures symbolized for me. My own curiosity got the best of me, and the moment that I chose to study the biological and social ways of all Corvid, I had no idea that the similarity of creatures, of creatures of flight and night, were giving me the answers that I so impatiently have waited for and to that end, answers that I have been seeking for likely many, many years, if not the most of my adult life. Immediately, the thing that I noticed about these creatures, after having read about their nature and their abilities, I knew that communication with Spirit and me came, literally, on the wings of creatures of flight. 

The symbols that come to us are not hard to understand. In fact, they are normally sent to us blatantly, in our faces, and sometimes they like to buzz in our awareness and literally in our ears. Where I live, here in this area, there is a field which can be seen from the children's tree house out back. Naturally, there are going to be LOTS of critters. This time of year it seems that the critter which is always around and in anyone's face is a common housefly. At one time I could not stand flies. They are dirty little things which are disease-carrying and for the longest time I saw no issue with smackin' 'em with a fly swatter. It was yesterday as I washed the dishes that three different times a fly would not get out of my face. I shooed him away, but there he was, and more than one time did he buzz in my ear and fly near my face. Needless to say, in that moment, I thought that maybe, due to the hummingbird, the dragonfly, the crow, that maybe, because this, too, this fly, was a winged creature, I needed to do some searching, both of the biological and scientific, but also and more importantly, the sort of the soul where I needed to find out what all of these creatures were whispering to me.

While normally I would have been looking for the nearest fly-swatter, this time I wanted to find out what this ugly little disease carrying rodent with wings was trying to tell me, and when I read up on what a fly's spiritual attributes and symbolism was, not only was I very impressed with this little insect, but at that time my respect for what they symbolize came dearly into play for me. Where it was that the only thing that I could think about when they were around was making them no longer be, there was a new thought for this nasty, dirty little creature - called respect. When we think about all the things that this tiny little creature can do, think about how very limited his time is on this earth, and how much as a group these critters get done, how resourceful they are, and whatever else it is that we think about when we think about things that are meant to dissolve that which is dead or no longer useful, we begin to see their very importance in the grander scheme of things Universal.

It was at that moment that, which was about two hours after I had been encountered by a hummingbird, a dragonfly, and a crow, I realized just how many winged, flying critters had been in my awareness in the last few weeks. There were many, many winged creatures. The thing that these all have in common are not only that they are winged creatures, because we all know that not all winged creatures can fly - all of these could - was that they all mean the same things. Sure, what they mean to me might not be what they also mean to you or anyone else, but there is always a message from them that is specifically for us alone. 

That they were all winged was one thing, but that they all meant that my own destiny is Spiritual in nature is what caught my attention. That ALL of them were the very natural epitome of transformation is not coincidental - it is a sign through symbols. All the critters who have visited me are symbols of big giant changes, are indicative of my own Soul's growth, of the Goddess Spirit within me and the Prophetess, the Shamaness, the Healer who I have grown to be.  Normally when I see anything that can be considered as a critter, I want to make sure that it doesn't hurt me. Yet, after these last few weeks, I have come to appreciate their message, for their message is that of Spirit. 

Paying attention to things and people and events that come into our awareness is the one of the most important methods by which we are communicated with by Spirit. When you think about where all these creatures come from (Spirit, essentially) it is of little wonder that any one of us should have the problem that is waiting for an answer that we so seek. In my own life there is much happening, and in my own life I am seeing the exchange of players in the drama of my life, and in that exchange I find that many of these people who are part of my Soul Family mirror the attributes of these critters. No, not the icky things we know of these creatures, but the things that are part of who they are and what they do in a biological sense. In a biological sense, a housefly is nasty, is dirty, is the thing that you know will show up whenever something is rotting and needs to be made gone. What we are not thinking about when we see the housefly is that this is a remarkably resourceful creature, that he must act on a whim because his time here on this earth is extremely limited. Without flies there are some things that cannot decompose and return to the earth from whence it came. 

This same thinking can be applied to all creatures who enter into our awareness. We can think of carnivores in the same manner that we think of that which dissolves and destroys for the benefit of mankind. We can think of water animals as teaching us how to deal with our depth or our lack thereof of emotion and feeling. We can think of lumbering land bovine as being the absolute example of manifestation and our intentions at work in the world we call ours. 

When we think that we are being annoyed by a person or a situation, and when it is at the same time we are also being visited by critters and creatures and we cannot figure out why it is that we are seeing so many cats, or birds, or why it is that we keep on seeing commercials about fish or sharks or dogs, it is at that time when we should be inclined to look at these things and wonder what they mean to us personally. When I encountered this giant mass of flies a few weeks ago, it was with a lot of annoyed energy that I have approached them with as well as thought of them as. Yet, when I started seeing many other winged creatures, I started to think about how these animals came into my life, at what time they came into my life and what issues were also prevalent.

Our answers are always there, no matter what. Our answers come from us, and always our awareness of these things is meant to highlight the things that draw us to think about them. It is not a mistake that we will see a lot of cats or dogs, not strange that we will see a sudden dearth of birds and flying insects. It is not a mistake when we notice certain flowers, trees, and not a mistake when we see things that make us think of the ocean. If we know that we need to be near water, it is almost automatic that Spirit will send that element, in some manner, to our lives. (I have heard it more than only one time, from more than only one person, that they need to be near water....imagine my own surprise when I blurt out the words "I am water...I am a Pisces...what can I do for you?"...at the same time, you can imagine the perplexed looks I get when this hits their ears...we always get what we need and want...no matter what...)

What we need comes to us in the strangest ways. We ask, and we are not aware that we receive, because we have to look at what it is that is en masse in our lives and also, for the absolute  opposite to that thing that we have asked for. We are not ever just given the answer directly as Spirit does not work that way. We are given a reason to wonder, to question and to be guided.

When I saw the crows in the field behind the house, I envisioned a drumming circle, a fire, my Soul family present with me. I saw there elders of a time and place that was not now, but that was so, so very real to me that I could almost reach into my thoughts and into my own Spirit and touch them and ask them what it was that I so sought out as my answers. I could hear not only Native American drums, but also, Maoli drums, playing in unison with the others. I felt a sense of peace, of belonging. Most of all, I knew, too, that it meant change, for in the group that I saw with my third eye, there were people who, at this moment are still there physically, but who were not there in the vision, and this brought me peace and told me that these scavengers were there to help me clarify and clean up a mess, there to clear away the things that make no sense anymore, and there, most of all, to carry to me the messages of Spirit that very dearly came on the wings of Spiritual messengers disguised as birds, bugs, songs, thoughts. They were there, not for another reason other than that I asked questions, and I needed to learn that I have always had the answers. 

And they are the right answers.

Ask away, Loves....and pay attention....because you will get your answer the moment that you become curious as to why it is that there are so many spiders, or crickets, or beetles, or birds in your awareness....

I Love You All !! 

Aloha nui
ROX

More about the ache called "Letting Go"

Ever wondered why it seems that some people just have no time for you anymore? The other side is crazier to think about in that, it might not be that they do not have time for you, but that you are not realizing that you really have no time for them!

The thought came to me over the course of weeks - it is time to let go of a few things and a few people, and yes, doing so will hurt. 

While I am not one who is good at goodbyes, I know that now is when I have to do this, is when I have to let some people go even though I do not want to. The reason is that while I am so busy trying to find out how to get them to bother with spending time with me, with nurturing that which I seem to be nurturing on my own and in my own time, the truth is that they are not likely doing that same thing for me that I am for them. While I love them immensely, there are things in my life that I have to see to, that calls for my attention, and people - of course, there are new people in my life whose attention I have no matter what.

We are sent these new people so as to refill, so to speak, the energetic void left there when we feel the time to let go has come. We are at a loss when we choose this, at a loss when we recognize that which needs doing. The reason that I believe it needs to be done is not because I am mad at anyone, and not - for sure NOT because I do not love the ones whose time in my life, at this point, has come to an end. It could be for a lot of reasons, but the one reason that it is meant for is that everyone who we let go of, and every one who we allow to leave our lives energetically, is so that they can grow. No one thinks of things in that manner - that maybe if we let go of things and people, that somehow, what they needed was just that. They might need us to let go of them so that they can grow. There is no rule that says they cannot return. There is no law that says once a person is out of our current awareness that they cannot, when they are brand new and have grown through the crap they have to grow through, come back to our lives in a different manner, and with a new, brighter outlook and a new lease on life. True, they might not be able to see us the same way they had when we thought we needed them or that they needed us, but the truth of the matter is that always, when there is a void to fill, the Universe always compensates us somehow.

We are such a hard lot to let go of things that weigh us down, and a lot of the time it is our own thoughts and our own energy that leaves us bewildered and thinking that somehow, since it is that they have no time for us, that this must mean that we have done something that they did not like and now they are ignoring us. No. This is not the truth. The truth is that people have lives, and the truth is that people have lives that are and can be messy. Evolved people, we tend not to show ourselves as being needy, because what we were at one time we can no longer be. The weight and the seemingly endlessness that is the drama in our lives sometimes, whether you believe it or not, may not even be ours. Sometimes we are shown someone else's drama because we need to see, not that we love them or that they need us somehow, but that the only thing that they need from us is the release that we provide for them in letting them go.

No, you needn't say any goodbyes to them. It is not needed. It is not like they wouldn't know because the moment that we let them go and let them learn and grow there is a weightlessness about a certain part of their lives that they will not be able to place their finger on. This is what happens when we lift our heavy and thick energies from them. They are relieved, even though they might not know why. We know that they will be, and that alone - that they will no longer be feeling the heaviness of our weight on them in our not letting them go - is a whole lot to have piled on to a person. You, too, will also feel a lot lighter, will feel as though there is now not a lot you cannot do and it is because of the fact that when we let go of people, no matter who they are, and those people have helped us create an energy that is other than good, not only are we letting them go but also we are letting all of their cares, and their worries, and their issues go, too.

No one thinks about that part. No one thinks that when we let go that we are gaining and not losing, and what we gain is the peace of mind in knowing that no longer are we the reason in either their lives or our own lives that a person cannot get to their own lightness, their own wholeness. We do not think about it in terms of a brand new, minutes old newborn being cut from his mother's nourishment through means of cutting the umbilical cord. Thinking in those terms we know that while in the womb, the cord can become wrapped around the child's neck, choking him off from the oxygen provided by his mother who is still carrying him in her body. We rarely think about it in terms of our helping other people to birth themselves through the canal called Life. We want to hang on to people for the sake of hanging on to them, but this is not okay for you OR them. In thinking about the newborn, we must also think in terms that while the child is still connected to his mother, he is dependent on her for his life. Yet, when the cord is cut, he has to be on his own and will be able to grow outside of her, allowing his lungs to become strong enough to carry the air to his lungs, his heart strong enough to pump the blood through his body, his skin thick enough for him to be able to one day brave the elements.

This same thing is true about people in our lives who we have held in our hearts and souls for many, many years, and here, in the Now, we find that while they are yet in our hearts, minds and souls, they are far from our lives, far from our being able to form any new kind of bond with them. This is when the realization becomes real that maybe the reason that in some parts of our lives there remains a stunting of the growth in the soul. We are hampering ourselves with our inability to no longer think of ourselves as the nourishing mother to people who might not need us to nourish them but rather, allow them to go and be and grow. 

The moment we let them go energetically a new energy begins, and it is an energy that allows us to go on into our lives and our mission and to live our purpose. This is the same thing that they are also allowed to do, all from that one less-than-simple little act based in Love, but not in loss, and filled with hope that they will grow as you do. To let them go is to let them be who they are now. To let them go is to be able to accept that you simply have no more lessons with them and that at that moment, your time with them is done because the lesson that you needed to learn has been learned. And who can say if whether or not they are or are not having those same thoughts that you are, that they need to let you go, too? Who is to say that a year from now they won't come back into our lives, brand new and ready for the second half of their lives? 

Who is to say that letting go, while it is not the easiest of all the things in this life that we human type folks have to do from time to time, is not exactly what you needed quite possibly more than they needed it? I speak only for myself when I say that these last two weeks have shown me a whole lot, not about other people, but about me and about how much I am willing to do for other people who are not willing to think in that same manner. It is not their fault. They have lives. I have a life. Together we need to go our parted ways and create a life that will be filled with laughter and joy and togetherness. This is what a lot of people in my lifetime who were not my blood taught me, continue to teach me, and it is a gorgeous thing in and of itself. 

When we choose to let go of people who we so badly want to hang on to, we give ourselves one more reason to be happy. No, not happy in the sense that we are rid of them and their baggage, but rather, happy that they can now go freely, that there is no hurt, no heartache, nothing that would cause a rift. This is the beauty that is letting go of people so that they can grow and become all who they are meant to become without the weight that is our energy.

Love can be heavy, mainly if it is needy. Do yourself a favor and lose some weight in your soul.

It's time no longer to indulge in the manner that you have come accustomed to. It is time now to let go of things and people who, even as they cause no havoc, they cause a feeling that is weighted down. Let them go, so that you can also be let go of.

I LOVE YOU ALL !! 
ROX

Hangin' in the Balance

That thing you feel right now that seems abnormal is anything but...

A funny thing about us humans is that for generations we have believed that what was the reality was also the truth in that reality, but it wasn't and it isn't. Someone asked me last week why it seemed that things were all...nutty...but the truth is nuttier than what this person orated to me, that things in their world and in the world, period, were out of whack. Of course the world seems like it is on its side right now - and it is this way for a reason and that reason is going to be different for each of us, no matter what. 

Imagine the look on both his face as well as his friend's face when I replied "The reason that things seem like they are crazy is because at the moment, we are experiencing what we have been waiting for - that thing called Balance, and my only thought at this point is that literally, we cannot hang with it."

We need to learn to hang with it. There are a lot of people who "can't hang" and this is for those of you who are not understanding the current energies. The current energies are the sort that are making it seem as though what is going on in anyone's world right now is somehow not manageable, is somehow too much to get through. Now is the time when we need to learn to hang with the balance and learn that everything and everyone on the planet is also just like we are. We are not comfortable. I mean, really, look around you and the world and your place in it, and think about how you, yourself, feel about all of the global happenings, both the sort that are naturally occurring as well as the sort that are orchestrated by the few who fancy themselves "the powers that be." If we could take a moment to look at everything happening in the lives of those closest to us, and we could see how our lives mirror theirs, and we can find a little bit of comfort in knowing that we are not alone in all of this shifting and all of this evolving to our higher selves, in that energy we would also be able to gauge when it is that our own lessons will be either coming to us or leaving us.

This is the reason that other people in our lives are there - to show us not only who we are but also how it is that those in our soul families handle things that are not that great to deal with. In my own soul family there are many similarities between us, and some of us even look like one another in some fashion or another, and all of us knows that where there is discomfort, there also there is change about to happen. While it is that we are not too enthused about having to deal with whatever it is that we are confronted with, we also know, just from watching the things in their lives as those things occur, that there is a time frame in which all of these things happen. Recently we have had a lot of cosmic stuff going on, and while it has not been too comfy, it has been very well needed. 

We are not used to things being just exactly the way they are meant to be, at all. For the majority of our collective lifetimes we have all been told what to believe, told how to handle things, when in reality we never really needed more than just some simple and clear guidance on things that we cannot change and things that must change on their own. When we are in control of the things that visit our lives and we are not versed in how to change them ourselves it is at that time that we have to take a step back, look at everything in our midst as "in flux" and know, down deep inside, all the way to the bones of the soul, that we are in the middle of the greatest time of our lives. We are on the brink of our singular and personal as well as collective and Universal greatness. Make no mistake...We are scared as hell of it. 

We are dearly afraid of our own brilliance, and we are not able to hang in the balance. We are so accustomed to the idea that in order to get what we want from our lives, so as to help better the world, we have to work too hard at it. While this is, in part, the truth, the other truth, the truth that does not hurt is that in it all the only thing that we ever have to do is pay strict attention. Paying strict attention causes us to scrutinize the things that bother us, to ask why it is that we feel so out of sorts. The real reason that we feel out of sorts, basically, is that we are so used to things being out of whack that we cannot recognize balance when it is staring us in the face. This is what is happening now. The entirety of the whole of mankind is in a balancing act. Some of us can hang, and it is our job to let others in our midst know that while it seems like things are upside-down, the truth is that this is the first time in any of our lives that true balance is ours. 

We cannot handle true balance. We are used to the chaos, used to the drama, used to the pain that leads to nowhere other than back to the start of it all. We are accustomed to the idea that in order to have peace on all levels, in order to know Love in its Truth and as itself, in order to know anything and to be anything real and good, we must suffer for it. If we could look at the suffering as what it is - purging the old for the new - we would be able to hang with the changes. But we can't. We can't because for the whole of our lives together on earth we have been told that things are a certain way, that things are to be scrutinized in the manner that is our judging them for what we assume they are. This is a time for the all of us to not look at things that hurt us as anything more than a lesson and a chance to purge and let go of the things that broke our hearts and made us crazy with the things that we did not want anymore. 

Our not being able to hang with the balance causes us anxiety, causes us to not trust in what we know is the truth of things. Sometimes it is not readily revealed to us because the trek on the Path through the pain is what is needed in order for us to also know what we so dearly wanted was worth it all. Always, by the way, it is worth it all, and it is like this because we are meant to learn, meant to go through what we will in order to get to the other side of things. This is not meaning that we will not each and all go through the "grass is greener" stuff, and no way is it to say that we will not hurt anymore once we have learned to live within the balance that we are not used to. It is to say, though, that things become easier to deal with once we do. It is not easy, learning to accept the things that we have shunned for so long.

We are so afraid to think that we have achieved the balance we sought out, and in that seeking we have found out who we are for real, and who we are for real scares the hell out of us. We had no idea that we are creations of power, are the manifestation of the perfection that is Spirit, and for the very life of us we cannot believe that this is the very truth of us. We look at our physical selves in the mirror each day, thinking about what we can change so as to please the eyes of others, and we do so without the thought in our heads that what we are looking at is only one reflection. We have yet to understand that the people who have come into our lives and share them with us are also our mirrors, are also the reflection of our perfect selves, are the very epitome of the Love which resides within the all of us. 

We cannot even begin to think on the level, at least not yet, that calls for us to believe that what we have been told that can be called "another person's opinion of us" is not our truth. We cannot believe that what we see in the actual mirror as well as in the mirrors that are other people is the very truth of us. We cannot believe, because we have not been taught to do so, that we are as magnificent as we want to believe we are, even though we each have all the proof that we need. The mirror does not only tell us the truth when it is not that great, but more, it tells the whole truth when it is awesome. We cannot believe that all this time, through all the heart aches, through the things that offended us, the things that we did that we thought might help our hurt, might make our loneliness dissolve, might make us know, without a doubt, that we are every bit as great as we have been told we are, that what we feel and deeply know is the truth, is the actual truth. We have believed other peoples'truths, and in that time, made no effort to see the difference in our selves. 

The difference now is that we can totally believe it and accept it as that one thing that we are scared to deal with, because we have already dealt with it for so long, that we cannot see that what we hear is correct.

Seriously, we cannot handle the truth.
We cannot hang with the balance that is our present reality.

Believe what you see and what you hear, because you worked very hard and went through a whole lot just to get to that one thing that you cannot believe is real...

...that one thing is called the Truth.

I Love You All!
ROX