...from the inside

To fix what is outside of us, we have to go from the inside...

We are all asking ourselves where we are supposed to go from here?

That is easy.

We go within.

We have all lived outside of ourselves for so long, worried about who would see what it was that we were trying to hide from the world and not realizing that we were not hiding a thing. It is our fears which have again reared their ugly heads, and it is the collective fear, not of anything other than ourselves, that causes us to see what we do not want to see, and we see it in the people who we don't think the Shadow exists in, and really, the Shadow is nothing to fear because just like the light, so, too, is the Shadow a big part of who we each are.

We have to go within, but a lot of us are afraid of what is there that we cannot see

There is always something that lurks beneath the surface of our personal safety net. We like the darkness, a lot of us do, because we can hide our sins there, or at least we think we can. The reality is that, if we looked at things in the manner that is a dark closet or an attic or a basement that we keep on throwing things into without the light to show us what is there, eventually, as if we didn't know this, it gets pretty cramped and cluttered in those places. Yet, we keep on amassing these piles of stuff that we refuse to look at, stuff  that means something to us in a sentimental manner that really, what all those things are doing is taking up space.

Think about all the shows that feature people who are hoarders, who are addicted somehow, and you will have in your midst the reality that is the cluttered mind, the reality that is the pain buried beneath all that stuff that a person just continues to pile on top of an already big pile of things that may be sentimentally ours but they are sentimentally ours in ways that might be to our own detriment. Hanging on to things that no longer serves a purpose for us, things and people who cannot teach us anything more than they already have, only hurt us in the long run.

Our limited thinking does not allow us to want to think in a manner that allows us to want to look at all these things as clutter. Our limited thinking always tells us that when we want to do better that we are up to no good, and always, someone makes this the truth for us one way or another, and that is when the over-stuffed nature of the closet we hold all these experiences in becomes a detriment. It is one thing to recall with a fondness the way that our dearly departed loved ones used to talk with us, but is quite another thing to remain in the part of the recollection that keeps us there in that hurt and in that heartache where we are ready more to stay there because we think it is comforting us. While it might be comforting to us that we can recall these times with fondness, it should be disconcerting to us that we want to hang on to those times and those things and those people so that we do not have to feel the burden of the loss.

It is in the burden of the loss where we are confused. We want to believe that we will never be able to be the person we were when what was so cool happened both for us and to us. We have not yet gathered the strength to deal with the loss, so we only recall when things were good, and we do not bother with the thing that is the reality of it all. The reality of it all is that we cannot change things outside of us to match the inside, and when we do not allow ourselves to feel our own pain we become someone who we were rather than getting to that point of being who we are on a daily basis.

Who we are on a daily basis is not who we were when we lost what we lost, and instead of thinking only of the loss, we should be looking at the lesson that we learned through that loss.

We have to change things from the inside if we want things to be different. We have to deal with who we were so that who we have become and who we are right now makes sense...

If we want to see change, we have to do it from the inside.

I Love You All
ROX