...some words about the current evolution of you

A Message to us all...

There is a lot happening in the Universe right now. Lots of us are seeing the end of some things, the end of relationships that no longer serve a purpose (meaning that the lesson provided by it has been learned), and when I say "relationships," I am not only talking the romantic sort. The truth is that those whose mission and purpose in our lives, and ours in theirs, have been seen to, and now it is just time to move on.

It is time to see things in a new way, to see things that you might not think were what they need to be at the time that they were first seen, as they really are. As they really are, remember, may be one way for you, but a totally different way for someone else. You have evolved to the point where what you need in your life at this point - no matter what it is - is there. More than that, what you no longer need in your life is no longer there, and this is the part that most of us have a problem with. 

Some of us want to hang on to things so dearly, and it is so that we don't have to feel the hurt of our no longer being around for some people in the manner that we had been in the past. This is not something that is not normal. In fact, this is something that is SO normal that for us to ignore it, for us to want to hang on to the "hoped for in the past" outcome that we once had, that if we ignore it, no matter what, the Universe WILL SEE TO IT that where it, or they, need to be, they or it will be, even if where it or they need to be is no longer in any one of our lives. 

We have to believe that through the hurt that will be caused to others in the parting of ways in each others' lives that there is something that is like salvation for the each of us. The people who are meant to be in our lives are here, are present in a regular way, and are not going anywhere. The people who are not meant to be with us in the same capacity they were in the past will simply, through and by the grace and the hand of Spirit, no matter what and no matter how much we try to fight it or try to go back to what was, no matter what, that which is no longer of good service or purpose to us and our life mission simply are just on their way out. Period. There is nothing that any one of us can do about it. It just is happening and it is happening with a quickness and most of us do not realize it.

Most of us do not realize that EVERYTHING we asked for over the course of each of our lifetimes is about to happen for us in the most surprising kind of way. That which we could not foresee having happen is in the works as I type, and that which is no longer of any kind of working good for us is being taken from our lives with a swiftness. Even though some of it will hurt, for the most part, we know that it is for the best. We know that we have each evolved to the point where what we cannot see fitting into our lives we apply serious thought to, we take into consideration, and even after all of that, we still end up at the same conclusion that what was, no longer is, and what is sometimes makes no sense even as it makes absolutely perfect sense. And we are, more than much else and even without our realizing so, ready for all of it. 

We are ready to live this life that we each can see with our mind's eyes and while some of us are scared, the majority of us are so emotionally exhausted from everything that has transpired over the course of just these last twelve months that the only thing that we can do now is take a deep breath, sit back and wait for it all to happen for us. 

The things that we wanted are here. The people we needed last year are here. Everything is meant as it is right at this very moment, and for the life of us, we have no clue that there is so much more that is waiting to happen, that is meant to happen, that is ours and all we have to do, really, is wait. For those waiting for the love of their lives to show up, they are here, you just don't realize it yet. For those whose lives have been modeled toward the most awesome life career for yourselves, you are about to embark on a journey toward that mission in your life and the outlook is awesome and far more promising than any one of us ever dreamed. 

All the way down to the material is where this is all felt. If it was a new car that you needed, you likely have it or are looking for it. If it was you needed people in your professional network who were not there last year, this year they made it to our lives and the fun part is that these same people are JUST like we are, even though they might be on the other side of the planet. Those who were trying to see love and romance from another place can now see that this is what awaits them just nearby and that if you wait a little longer, the truth of what you see before you will be revealed, no, not by the other person, but by you, yourself. This is such a markedly important and exciting time for us all. We are all about ready to be shown this second half of life and some of us are scared as hell of it all, scared of the changes, trying hard to be happy and harder to have trust in what we see happening. 

Make no mistake - we can ALL see what is happening, and no matter how much we each try to hide it, we are happy as a lark when we think about what the future looks like, because the future that we saw just a short five years ago is here, is about to begin to come to life. All we really needed to do was wait and see, and we did stellar with the wait and see part of all of this. We did great, going through all that we did, only to end up right here with the same thought in our heads that we have had for months now, and that one thought is always going to be "this is awesome and totally way better than I had hoped for."

I do not have to ask anyone if any one of you are ready. Of course you are ready. You have been ready for this moment and these times in our lives from the time that you were sent by Spirit into this lifetime. We are ready for the awakening. We have been met with the people who, even while some of them are not aware of it, are meant to help us on our path to our Selves. This is what is meant by "finding yourself." You didn't need to look too far - just to the nearest people to you to see that you have been here the whole time, that there was no reason to go looking for you. You were never lost, even though sometimes it might have felt like it. You were never NOT on the Path you have seen for many lifetimes now coming into fruition. You were selected by the Divine, and through your Soul you called out to Spirit and in kind She returned to You the things that you needed. 

The new people were not all the way evolved either. It took you being in their lives to make this happen. It took your presence, your Love, your Trust, YOU, to help them while they also helped you. And the coolest part, again, is that for the most part, you know who is who in your life. You know these people, have known these people, for a multitude of lifetimes. You see  your own life as being assisted by them and you cannot see your life without them in it. Some of them have a starring role, while others are bit players. It doesn't matter - they are all important to the continuing of your growth of Soul, your maturation of Spirit, your walk with the Universe and lucky you - you are not walking alone.  

You are now in the company of your Soul Mates, your Soul Family, and in some of these families are also your Twin Flame. You are meeting up again with the same souls you did in past lifetimes, and in those lifetimes you planted the seeds of the future, which is now. You planted what needed to be in the Now, and in the Now you are a magnificent culmination, the perfect show of what Spirit and Her glory is able to do. What you wished for is here, you just don't know it yet. What you wanted to no longer be here is either on its way out or is simply just gone. And when it is that you have been undecided, it has been Spirit, through this reconnect with your Soul Family, Who has been orchestrating it all. When you felt alone, immediately there was someone there to hear your tears. When you needed no one at all, and when someone instead needed you, you were just there, and you didn't even need to call or text or send an email...it just was.

If we think about the people in our lives and how they came to us, we find that it was on the whims of the Soul and by the grace of the Universe and by the mighty hands of Spirit that these people who bring so much to our lives are here. It was by the very same grace that is Spirit that handily, and even in this very moment, is removing those who are no longer needed there to teach us what we so dearly needed to learn, and it is like this because the lessons we were learning have been learned by us. 

It hurts to say goodbye, but sometimes, it is the goodbye to the old which is the only energy needed for us and by us to realize that the New has always been here, always been present and always been exactly what both you and Spirit needed in your life. If you are in any kind of denial of it all, just take a look twenty years back and see who was there, what kind of people were there, and what it was that you were doing, and immediately it will all make perfect sense to you. You were in practice mode at that time, and you were nowhere near knowing that you were in preparation for right this moment.

Right this moment, if you thought about it for a bit, is perfect. It is perfect because we each and all have the right tools, the right mindset, and the right players in the drama called "Life." Some of them showed up with intentions that are only being seen now, and they are gorgeous, the intentions are, no matter what. The intentions were set with Love, with healing and with the Light from the Soul within, both singly and collectively. 

Those who are meant to be here are here, and those who are not meant to be, somehow, even symbolically, are not. Thinking in those terms, you can also see, sometimes in the real, just exactly who these people are, what they meant to us, what their lesson was, and now, there are new people to add to it. New people are here to assist us, to make our lives better and to show us who we are through them and who they are through us. Kind of makes you wonder what it is that we each really are in relation to one anyone else. Again, no matter what, it is, on its own, gorgeous. 

Welcome, all of you, to the beginning of the second half of your life. 
Stay tuned...it's about to get really real up in here....

Aloha...I Love You All!
ROX 

Strangeness

There's a lot going on right now for all of us. Sometimes, we need assistance. Be nice to people - you have no idea who you are dealing with and those "people" may be of the angelic sort...

No doubt about it, things are strange these days. More and more of us are learning to use these new strange gifts that we only now have found out that a whole lot of us have. When I say 'gift,' I totally mean of the astral sort. Things that we should not know, we know, and things that we want to know, we learn, almost immediately. That which is meant to teach us comes to us like a feather on the wind. And all of these great things that come about just at the moment that we need them to, along comes into our lives these new people. Some of these new people are strange to us when we first meet them, and it is because our whole lives long we have been given to the idea that what we are told that we should believe we end up no longer believing, and this is actually a good thing. It is a good thing because too many of us want to believe that someone other than us has a clue that is more trustworthy than is our own measure of who we are.

Our own measure of who we are becomes evidenced by the people who come into our lives at this time in our collective lives. At this moment in time, collectively we are being brought to the task of elevating our very selves, because very soon the reality will be what the majority of us believes it is meant to be - globally, we will finally be One in thought, in heart, in soul, and always in Unison with one another. As it is, there are people within your own inner circle whose lives you actually feel, whose emotions you are well aware of, whose very thoughts are like your own, and this is not something that is a bad thing, because anymore now we are not so inclined to think thoughts that are damaging. I mean, yes, there are always going to be people on the planet with us who will always just roll that way, but for the majority of us right now, the truth is that we know who we are and yes, we found out this much by the new people who have arrived in our lives. Some of them are meant to be only a lesson, while others of them are permanent because at this time in our collective lives, too, there is a great awakening and soul families are reuniting on this plane for the purpose of carrying out our mission.

Included in these soul families are people who you have never known on this plane or in this lifetime but who you know upon first glance, and it is the familiarity with these people that keeps us there, because we are that same familiarity that they also know. We know each other upon first glance. There is always just something there that never leaves us, and we also have this thought in our heads, not that we will lose these people, but that we have to be able to be with them, no matter what. We have to be able to do our work in this lifetime with them because that is what is going on now - we are meeting up with our soul families, and it is a beautiful thing. The thing about a soul family is that, outside of the idea that we are all of the same spiritual "stuff," so, too are we given the thoughts in our heads that some of these people are not just human. Some of these people are Earth Angels, and all of these people serve a very important part in our lives. I can think of a few of these people in my own life right now who know that this is the truth because they also know that since we have shown up in one another's lives, no matter if it was 5 years ago or last week, that there is just something about them that we cannot ignore, will not deny and have to be around, no matter what.

It is the familiarity, the energy that is shared between us that makes this so. It is the idea that one day we cried out to the Goddess and in kind, while we were thinking that She was ignoring us, like the Mother Who She Is, Spirit sent us an angel in human form, sent to our lives someone who could, without being too hurtful to our pride and our sensitive ego, help us grow and help us evolve and help us to become who we are for real.

Who we are for real, the each of us, is the Higher Self. That we come in the package that we do is one thing, but that we just seem to know who is here to help us and more, who we are here to help, is very, very cool. That we instantly Love these new people who come to our lives is not something that is sick and demented, but literally sent by Spirit to our lives, because the truth really is that Mother Knows Best. Mother Goddess knows always what and who we need, and also knows who is to be in what roles in our lives, knows who we are for real, and wants us to also know who we are for real. This is the reason that we are sent who we are sent. This is why it is that sometimes, while we are in the throes of whatever magnificent BS we find ourselves in, when it counts and when we need them the most, Spirit sends us these people to our lives who become permanent and who are also and can totally be thought of as the Angels who we asked assistance from.

That's right - in our midst in this time in history we are literally being visited, gifted, given other people to help us understand who we are, help us see what is the truth of us, help us understand the higher thoughts we are all having at this time in our lives. It is not a midlife thing, and neither is it because you might not be with the person who you once were with, or that you no longer, by choice even, hang with the same group you once did. This is Spirit at work, is the Goddess in us each who tells us that we are so not alone, that when we cried out to Her for Her help, instead of Her being that Who came to us in our time of need, She visited us with others who are like us, who look and act like us, who love the same things that we do, who might even know the very same people we do. None of what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, knowing is a mistake. The way that you feel about these people is not unusual. There is always going to be this familiarity with them, all of them, and no matter what, wherever you are, they are there, too, and you know this because you feel it and can sense it all the way down in the bones of your soul.

We know who it is who is and will always be there for us. We know that we can count on Spirit to bring to us what it is that we need, and for the most part we also know that we can do just about anything that we try to and if we find that we are not able to get through some things, there is always someone there to assist us, no matter what. Think of the last time that you ran into something that just bothered you to no end, and that one thing kept just creeping up your okole, and then one day you cried out to the bigness that is Spirit.

Then, one day, almost magically, they showed up, almost on the wings of angels, in human form, right there in your face, and you could not believe it.

The moments that we find ourselves in the throes of anything that is ugly to us, that is hurtful to us, that makes us crazy from the sameness of it all, remind yourself that never have you been alone, and that always, somehow, there was help.

Always, somehow, Spirit knew what we each needed when we needed it, and always, as we now know, we have never been truly alone, never not been cared for ...never ever not been Loved....


I Love You All
ROX

This is how we do it...

It isn't like we don't deserve it....all of it...

"Whatever it is, the party's underway  So tip up your cup and throw your hands up 
And let me hear the party say 
I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because...This is how we do it..." ("This is how we do it" by Montell Jordan)

No matter what it is and no matter who you are, you have to admit, these last few weeks have been a very dear pain in the okole, but it was not at all for anything other than to prepare us all for right this moment. 

Right this moment

Right this moment, at least in my world, there is a whole lot going on and most of it is all change. While I do not fear change, I also am not that thrilled about it when I am experiencing it, and right now I am experiencing it on every level of my life. The things that used to bother me no longer are that big of a deal, and the things that I didn't care about suddenly need my attention. When it was that any of my friends were hurting or in need of something, I was right there for them without hesitation, but these days I find that I am very picky about who does and who does not warrant my immediate attention. Those who warrant my immediate attention know that this is their place in my life, know that when they call on me, I am right there, at the ready, no matter what, and on their behalf alongside them I will fight the good fight with them, will be there to hold their hand, to wrap my entire being around them, make sure that they are okay. They each know who they are, too, and after a long year of "oh NO! not another Shift!" I know exactly who I can trust enough to just say anything to and not have to worry about them being too offended by the idea that I had the nerve to tell them either through my words, my actions, or my energies, that I love them enough to not want to see them hurt or worried or anything that would cause them these energies.

On the other side of that is the idea that there have been a whole lot of people who have entered my life within these last twelve months who have each found out that there are some things that I will not deal with, that I will not ever accept as being okay and will not ever, ever allow into my own awareness, and without my asking them specifically to do so, they have, at least for the moment, left my life, allowing me to breathe a little, rest a little, Be who I am without having to be outshined and neither my issues not tended to because they and their giant egos were too busy taking up every bit of my every free ounce of energy that they had no right to take from me. And yes, take - when we allow people in who are not that great as human beings, they tend to take things from us, energetically and even physically at times, and it is these ones who seem to be the very parts of us that we have to clean up.

The parts that need cleaning up

I like having parties. I like going to parties. I like preparing for them, and I even like to clean up afterwards. There is just something about a gathering of people celebrating for whatever reason, or sometimes no reason, and it is this way because I love to celebrate people and their accomplishments. I love to be in the company of people who I love the most and see them being honored in a manner that is that of the heart and soul within us. And yes, I did say that I like to clean up afterwards and it is because I get to see how much of the food is left over. Left over food reminds me of the left over stuff that we have in our lives that no longer serve us, no longer lend to the learning, and it is time now that we have to clean up the messes that were left by us from the parties in the past, so to speak, and it is time for us to no longer celebrate our past victories because folks...there is a lot coming to us in the coming weeks and months ahead. Some of it is gonna hurt, and some of it is gonna suck but all of it will lead to the life that we are each meant to live, and by my count that RULES !

I would love to sit here and tell you all that it is going to be a breeze from here on out, but I can't. If all of the crap that is happening in your own personal life at this very moment is not enough to tell you that whatever it is that is buggin' in your life at the moment is meant to happen, is supposed to teach us each our own lessons of what our lives are all about. Your life is your story, is your best selling novel that doesn't ever end. This is your life, your baby, you are the creator of it. Right now we all have a bit of stuff to clean up, have things to clarify to the Universe that we want or do not want in our lives. Now is the time that we have each asked for, and there are a lot of us who are just not ready to clean. To those people I have to say that that indeed is a very sad thing, because what is about to happen for the entirety of us all is not going to happen for you if you are too busy cleaning up yesterday's trash instead of being in the center of your own universe.

STOP !

STOP being the one person who everyone leans on. This was the sin that I was in, all the time. I was overextending myself to and for all of the wrong people, people who were no way at all helping themselves out of anything and only helping themselves to my energies. This is not saying that they were not worthy of it, but that I had no business trying to save them - that is their thing, not mine. That I shared my energies with them is one thing, but for them to not learn to cultivate theirs is another thing all together. It is not and was not that they were essentially wrong in being who they are, but wrong in the sense that I cannot be used like aspirin, can't be told that I am supposed to be there for people who will not be there for themselves by the very people who are supposed to be there, on their own, yes, with my assistance, but most assuredly not my shoulder to stand on.

The time is now, guys...right now, for all of us to clean up what it is that is not yet done. This could be anything. Those of us who are already seeing the future as we want it to be are also the very ones who are prepared for this, the last part of the shift in consciousness that is upon us. We have to be prepared for it, all of it, because for a long, long time now we have all wanted dearly to see the changes that we have intuited, and lots of us are afraid to take it all on. Lots of us are just worn out from all of the evolving that we have done and we don't even see what it is that we have done, and I promise you that what has already been done was done by our own hand, by our own thought process and whether or not we believe it, was done because we called it into being. Now there are a lot of us who cannot begin to think about what is ahead of us and most of those people who cannot see what is there are also not prepared for the changes ahead. The changes ahead call for us to be ready and willing to be everything we are each meant to be. 

None of us can think to stop ourselves from having to change anything about us, because there are facets of us each that have to grow along with the things that are happening to us all, and if we are not willing to deal with it all, we will not ever be and if we are not ever going to be ready for the little things, how can we hope to be ready for the big things?

But there are those of us who have been prepared...

While we might not like it, and we might not want to have to think about there being more for us to do, the fact of the matter is that there is still a little bit of work for us to do, still a little bit more for us to deal with and all of it worth every tear, every time you went into a blind rage, every single little thing that hurt, that bothered you, anything.

There are those of us who are ready for whatever is left, and it is a beautiful thing indeed when we trip over our own selves and when it seems like there is no other way around the things that hurt us, scare us, make us ache.

...so, let me tip my cup to you all, raise the glass and voices to the grand cosmos above for those of us who know the work is worth it.

To the rest of you...well, I hope you eventually get it in terms of what you are going through.

I Love You All

ROX

Patterns

...you can see where you are going by thinking about where it is that you have already been...

There is a lot happening in the Cosmos these days. I don't want to get into a whole thing about astrology because there are a whole lot of really great ones already. And really, unless you realize it, Astrology will teach us at least what sort of pattern our lives have traveled in from the very moment that we arrived to this lifetime. 

If we bother to pay attention to the patterns that our lives travel in, we will see a chain of events that, even though the time that passes will bring into our lives new people and new experiences, if we thought about where we were about 20 years ago and compared it to now we would see that there are a whole lot of similarities between then and now. This would be the thing that can give light to the messes that we find ourselves in. The revolution of time and the time that we spend thinking that we do not understand what is happening to us at a given time in our lives are distractions of the lessons that we are presented with throughout the course of our lives. 

Our lives follow a certain pattern and when we are right inside of a monster of an issue in our lives we are less inclined to be rational about things than we are about the emotional nature of feeling like we have to throw our hands up in the air in exasperation and ask the clouds above "AGAIN??!!" 

Of course, again...that is how this works. The trick to it all is NOT throwing your hands up in the air as though you were the one to tumble the Jenga tower, but to think back to a time where what was then is also now. What helps is that whatever it was that plagued us back then, or perhaps blessed us, caused us confusion or clarity...well, take a look around you and find out that even though there may be few of the same players in the drama of your own life, the things that are happening are much the same as they were then and the difference from then to now is that right now you have had the luck of the journey of having already been in a similar situation, have had the experience of such the same mess that is your life, or perhaps it is not a mess. It is just whatever it is, and we can see it as "oh NO it is happening AGAIN!" or "Hey...this feels familiar." 

It is the familiarity which is the key to the recognition of the thing that we have already done but just at another time. It is the feeling that we know what to do and the knowing that we have already done this in the distant past. It is also the knowing one thing that not a lot of people think about - in the time that has passed, you have pondered the thing that was 20 years ago, and your soul recognizes this as it being like the do-over, or maybe it is just a sweet reminder of where you were two decades ago. If the issues in your life at present time mirror that of what was going on in your life back then, what that means is simply that there were a few loose ends that needed to be tied up, or maybe the answer which eluded you back then has shown itself to you now and now you can heal whatever it was that made you hurt back then.

You will notice that there are a lot of same things that happen. In my case, twenty years ago I was  very dearly in love with music, particularly the indie rock scene. I was a promoter. I shared a television show with some people who I thought about through the years and who recently I have been reconnected with by Spirit. I held a dear love for rock music then much like I do now, and like then, now, too, I have a deep connection with musicians. And it makes sense that I would, because I am a dancer. Lots has happened in two decades. There have been gains and losses, and people have entered into my life while others have left and can never return because they went Home to Spirit. Yet, the things that present themselves to us all these years later are the very things that bring to us those memories of the way that we did things then.

We might have needed a reminder of who we each really are, and it was through someone else that this was found out. Some of us moved far from the places that we lived, only to have lost everything in a material sense, leading us to believe that the reason we went to those places was because we thought we'd met our twin flames or perhaps our soulmate when in reality and through those people we met our very selves, and we liked what we saw. Suddenly, the messes that were the thing that we called "life" seemed not so out of place and make sense now. When I thought I lived in the desert for one reason and a person who I could never love, I found that the actual reason was not only so that I could ultimately lose my store bought life, ultimately be shown that it was not the person who we thought it was that would have us move that far from what is familiar, and when we find out who it was that was the reason that we were brought there, we find out that we are not so disappointed after all, that Spirit knew and knows what She is doing, and that all is well when we just get the hell out of our own way.

We do not get to know what it is that we need to know - our purpose, our mission - until it is that Spirit has dragged us kicking and screaming like a spoiled petulant 7 year old to that place within where it is that we can hide from the ugliness of life, can be who we truly are and where no one will hurt us because they can't hurt us as we have risen above and have dealt with the pain of the loss, the pain of the thing that caused us humiliation, the thing that ate our lives and caused us to have to look at ourselves to see there in the mirror that is reflected back to us through other people the truth of who we each are. 

The Truth of Who We Each Are is a story that only the each of us can tell about ourselves, and we have always had the roadmap of time to show us through our past where it is that we have been, and where it is that we have the option to go.

The only option is where Spirit leads, and not where we are inclined to stomp our feet, cry out in frustration all the time about the tangible proof that we do not see and neither realize is the mirror which we look into, not only in others, but our very selves. The only option is the pattern and our paying attention to it.

The only option is to look back and see where we have been and realize that we made it here, and that here and now is familiar, and more than that, that we are perfectly fine and good and alive and well, and that really, we always were.

We were always okay. We just didn't realize it at the time. We did not know that what we were doing was not gnashing our teeth but refining ourselves as does fire with diamonds. 

We were being polished, refined, so that we could deal with the things that we met up with twenty years ago, but right now. We were brought there back then so that we would know what to do with right now.

That is a whole lot to think about, isn't it?

I Love You All !
ROX

What's Your Drug of Choice?

Seriously...physician...heal yourself...

Each of us is scared to death of something, and as odd as it will seem to read the next thing that I state - that we are all afraid to be good at something even though we know that this is the paradox of success in life- most of the time, we fail in our efforts toward wholeness because we do not believe that we will be successful at it. We all crave success, and we don't realize that once we have the thought in our heads that we will not fail as badly at a thing as we believe we will, we 
do not realize that once we make a choice to succeed, the Universe at that very moment conspires with us so that no matter what, if it is with right intent, will cause benefit with a ripple effect which will eventually benefit the entirety of the global family, if it will, for two moments in your lifetime, raise your own vibration and energy level... What you have right then and there is the only pain killer that you have ever needed.

We want to believe that there is more to it than only the weirdness, than only the thing that we wished for, and we want to believe all these people who tell us that manifesting life to be great is effortless - it is SO NOT effortless, and if you are evolved enough to know so, then you also know that no matter what, the effort is worth it all...that healing from within is what is best for us, and that we each have our own 'drug of choice,' and that it is up to us to use what is within to be our own Soul's doctor . 

There is pain involved with healing, but also there is the salve of knowing that one day, absolutely, we will heal from the pains which we choose to hang on to. Success for some people is measured in dollar bills and accolades, but there is more to it than only the material part of it. There is also the reality that we will each experience caused by the thing that we choose to call our drug of choice. 

This leads us to the question, "What's your drug of choice?" For me, it has always been art, particularly dance, particularly hula...what is your drug of choice, the one that you do a lot of when speaking in terms of your own Soul's Medicine?

"Physician, Heal Thyself," is a biblical verse which has stayed with me since I was a child. The idea that we are not able to do for ourselves what we want to believe others can is ridiculous. Sure, we might need help with it- I know that I needed help with it, and I got it, but on the whole, that which has happened to us can never rule us. We know when it is something that we cannot handle all by ourselves, and if we are wise we seek out others to help get us through the things that we cannot or do not or simply refuse to understand. Anytime that there is truth involved, namely when it is our own truth, there will always be some energy of resistance. This is because we have been taught to accept things that are not our own, and we have been shown someone else's way toward the ultimate goal of healing and wellness. No one tells us what we find out all on our own - that we alone are strong enough to be our own spiritual physician.

We alone, even when we need some assistance, are who makes our healing possible.

"What's your drug of choice? (Well, what have you got?)" (Alice in Chains, "Junkhead." 1996)

What, indeed, is your Soul's healing drug of choice? What is the way that you have always known to use that would make your temporary hurt feel better, would allow you to have a choice - to hurt, or not to hurt? What is it that you have, with the help of your soul's pleas to do something, done in order to fix that which has always plagued your soul? It is right there, right inside of you, the unique ability to heal your life. I cannot lie - it is not easy. It will not lie - it will hurt, a lot. And of course, I will never tell a person that it will be without obstacles, the healing which a lot of us chase but do not realize that we are only chasing what belongs to someone else when we seek to heal from the outside.

This is the problem with human beings, at least a lot of us - we do not want to hurt from the same old stuff that we want to no longer hurt from, but we are too scared to no longer have an issue to feel badly about, because for the most part, that is what we think is the truth of us. We think and believe that we are supposed to hurt, that we are supposed to elevate to some strange level of piety through suffering. We believe that we are supposed to be in pain, always, and we believe that if we are not hurting while someone else is, that we are somehow evil or heartless. My opinion is that we are being evil and heartless to ourselves if we are more inclined to martyr ourselves, to slay the dragons for other people without seeing that our own dragons are tired of being the scary thing in our lives. We are more inclined to let our egos make us believe that if we do not save someone else from their own pain and their own dragons that we are not good people, that we are not loving souls.

What do you do to help yourself feel better about anything? Do you prefer to blame it on everything outside of you, or are you more willing to look at the things that you see in other people as also being alive within you? Are you willing to point it out and then take it apart with others and not with yourself? Are you willing to recognize things in other people and also know that while you point your finger at them that you are giving yourself your own referral to a specialist who you do not realize is you? We are, as a whole, addicted to our own arrogance. In the thoughts which we think about other people are also there the things which are prevalent in our own lives. When we see that another person is insecure, and we voice it, we are, at that time, diagnosing what is our very own "trip."

Yet, again, most of us are way too arrogant to see it at face value, too egotistical to think that we are what we see in others. This is where our pain comes from. This is where the "Little You," also known as "The Child Within," are at odds with each other. When we hurt, it stems from a place that we have been, over and over again, and the first thought we think is NOT about what we can do for ourselves and by ourselves to make our hurts no longer be. Our first thought is to that very time in our lives many years ago when we first felt that sting of rejection, the hurt caused by another's judgment on us, the pulsating anger released through the ferreting out of our very young selves by someone in our lives who, unless they, too, were young like we were, knew better but allowed their arrogance and their ego to be who was the best judge of you. And it stuck....the pain, it stuck, with all of us, and too many of us have chosen without recognizing so, that what it is that we see in others is bad enough for us to have an opinion about and more, to voice it.

Lemme tell you this one thing - the opinion of someone else about who we are for real is never the permanent reality. Allowing an old hurt to have any sort of importance in our lives that we are not willing to change is our fault, but that someone else would be creepy enough to continually bring it up is their fault. How we handle the way that we heal from that energy is up to us and only us. We cannot expect the person who administered the disease to also be the one to heal us, because they are not able to see past their own arrogance and know that the one person who can and should heal them IS them, much as who we should know and believe is capable of healing us is our very self.

Sometimes the drug of choice for someone else is to pick on someone who they deem is somehow weaker than they are, but this is a non-truth, is something that you are not obligated to believe as YOUR truth, ever. Not even when it is technically true does it have to remain that way. We are able to change who we are by learning to believe our own truths.

It is the constant lesson that we will willingly teach ourselves about our own truths. Our medicine is not contained within a bottle, not contained within anything that is physical until we bring it out into the physical world. For some people it is the artist within who releases the demons and the closeted skeletons, and for others, is the actuality of substances which no one hurting should administer to themselves. For some it is dance, and others, music, and still others, the slow and constant loveliness that is poetry.

No matter what it is, we all have a method by which we go when speaking in terms of our own ability to heal our lives. We each have a magic within us that tells us that who we are is enough to make it through the days and nights. We know without being told, at least a lot of us do, that we are all the drug of choice we need. We are who comes up with the way to feel better, and eventually it becomes second nature for us to turn to that one thing, no matter what it is, that helps us along the Path to enlightenment. While I will not ever condone the ingestion of things that are temporary fixes to problems that have been labeled as permanently ours (by us even! Can you beat that?), I will never tell any other human being that who they are is not enough for them to know for sure that whatever it was that someone told them, or you, or anyone, really, was not the truth of them. It was not the truth of them, or you, or me, or anyone, because it was never our truth to begin with.

The next time you see something in someone else that you feel the need to say something about, say it to yourself. Say it to yourself because only in the healing of that thing within YOU will you be able to better understand the complexity of how anyone else got to where they are on their own. Say it to you because it will be the thing that you see in someone else that also plagues your own life, and say it to you so that you can finally forgive yourself for believing what you did not have to believe about you until you were able to see it in someone else. Say it to you because you own you, and say it to you because in saying it to you, you finally get to work on that one thing that maybe has been the truth told to you by someone else but is now a truth which no longer applies.

Say it to you, because if you continue to see what is in you as also being something in someone else, and you continue to point it out, and you allow it to continue to be the one thing that you always only recognize, pretty soon, you will be the only one around TO say it to.

Don't forget this!

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

Can you Forgive?

Often times are we given to bouts of anger, of impatience, and of things that knock our brains around for a bit. Yet, all the emotions that we feel can eat us up from the inside, out, and the only way to stop this from happening is for us to forgive the sins of those who transgress against us. It is normal to be angry from time to time, but when we allow that anger to become hatred there is nothing good that can come of it. 

The only way toward our own return to our balance is to release the emotions knowing that eventually, if we are wise, we will see that the thing that caused us to have those emotions was a temporary thing. Sometimes, though, and there are a few of us who live this way, when we cannot let go of the pain and the angst caused by the anger, we allow it to become hatred. 

The simple energy that is Forgiveness is harder to have than it is not, but my thought is that it is easier to get over a ding to the Ego than it is to overcome tragic physical illness brought about by the harboring of negative energy. 

Not only that, when we feel like we need to forgive someone anything, it is also at that time that, too, we have to forgive ourselves....

Forgiving people is hard. I know this for sure. For a long time I had the hardest time with just letting go of my own anger with certain people. For a long time I wanted to hang on to being mad at them because I thought being mad at them taught them a lesson that only I could teach them. This did no one any kind of good at all. It would never do any kind of good at all anyway because the truth is that we can only change ourselves and no one else, and to be angry with anyone means that somehow they made us that way and too often we are inclined to stay in that mess of emotions that eventually become the hatred within us.

We want to believe that we are the victim, but volunteering things that way only serves us up with more victimization, and the harshest reality of that is we are who makes us the victim and no one else. When we are not willing to accept that it is up to us to do anything and we give our power away to other people through means of our allowing it to be the truth in our own heads that we hurt because someone else makes it that way and not because we are choosing to hang on to whatever it is that we are hanging onto, we also do not, if we are not so evolved, accept and neither realize that all along, it has been us.

All along, it has been us

All of the time that we have chosen to take and to waste on our believing and acting on energies that tell us that we are not to blame for how we feel is the same amount of time that it takes for any one of us to realize that it was not other people who needed us to let things go. It was us. Other people might be the catalyst to the things that we experience feeling, but it is not other people who make it so that we hang on to whatever it is that we feel.

We choose to not forgive, and we choose to hang on to the thing that makes us turn into a drama queen, and we are who chooses, or does not choose, to allow the thing that someone else did to go on as an unforgivable sin against all mankind. My first question to you, at least in regards to this part of forgiving people that is totally NOT forgiving people is "how come you are so cool that you think everything is owed to you, even someone else's forgiveness?" Why is it that you feel like you need rectification for something that you are hanging on to? This means that you are not ready to forgive anyone, that you are more inclined to try to bring a person to their proverbial knees instead of allowing them to forgive themselves for the thing that they did or still do to you. What is up with that?

What is up with the idea that you are so special that you have to make it real to you by cutting someone else down and making them live in your stinkiness that is unforgiveness for whatever unholy transgressions you think were done purposely against you? And even if it was done purposely, why are you bothering to care what someone who will over and over again choose to hurt you because you are too blind to see what it is that they are teaching you? Why are you looking at the hurt and why do you keep looking at the hurt, and why do you expect more from a person who might not even have a clue of the soul sickness that they keep helping you stay sick from?

What is the deal with making people feel responsible for your pain, and what is it that makes you think that you have some sort of golden power over them when in reality it is they who are powerful, more than you are, in your life, and it all boils down to the forgiveness.

All boils down to the forgiveness

If anyone read my last blog - the one where I get good and down and dirty nasty with people - you see one side of me that takes a lot for me to reveal. There are only a few people on this planet who know who it is who I am addressing, and there are only one or two who know that when I hurt, I get MAD MAD MAD, and when I am that mad, I write about it, and when I write about it, I am forced to go through the emotions of the thing that brought to me the headache that can sometimes be other people. Other people make me mad in that they ask for help, and then they expect it to be like an aspirin, as if what I am able to do is somehow theirs to be able to conduct. When I tell them that no, I am not one of those healers who will do some sort of strange magic (because we all know that there is no strange kind of magic, only energetically charged kind that is either positive or negative) to make anyone who will ask that I "do something" in order for their hurting to vanish.

Healing, Spiritual Power, and yes, even Magick...all of these things are mechanisms of the Soul, and all of them cannot be utilized effectively WITHOUT the purity of intent being that which is above all, rightly intended. But that is neither here nor there, and the reason I brought it up is because it will illustrate for a lot of people that there is no magic spell, no ritual, no anything that will make YOU feel better about how YOU feel about someone else hurting you, even if they did not intend to hurt you. You are taking too much time and effort to not feel bad by making someone else feel bad -mainly the person who you think took the time to do to you what they did not mean to, and more so when we are talking about when they do NOT know.

The last thing you want to do is NOT take the time to feel your real feelings

Not feeling one's own true feelings is the very stuff that the nightmare of addiction is made up of. No one realizes that the reality of addiction, while in part is due to what one is made up of astrologically, the other reality is that the reason that anyone will give themselves to any kind of addiction is simple - they are numbing their pain. Anger is pain. Sadness, pain. Self-loathing, pain, too. All of these things left unchecked lead to addiction. And addiction is housed in all kinds of things, and not all of those things are to be ingested. Sometimes it comes out as a sex addiction, and most of the time, substance addiction, but all of the time it is to cover up some sort of pain that we just do not want to address and see as the thing that is eating us alive.

The way that anyone feels about anything will lead them to either be stronger because they were willing to face it, or weaker, because they can only face it through the idea that painting it with an addiction will at least make it easier, and on the top of things this is the truth but overall it is the lie that is housed in the pain.

The Lie that is Housed in the Pain

The lie is that we are able to handle things without help, and by this I mean that sometimes that help comes in the form of a thought, or perhaps the form of a person who has what we need, and all the time we are so willing to believe even the lies that we hear that we know are lies that are also the lies that cover up the truth, and the truth is that when we are willing to turn our pain into something that it is not meant to be (the truth of us) we want so badly to fit a situation to who we are that we cannot see past the idea that maybe the thing that is causing us so much pain is causing us so much pain because the reality is that it hurts for a good reason, and that reason is so that we can recognize what it is that we do no like. In recognizing what it is that we are not too fond of, sometimes we find out that we are who brought it to our lives and the worst part is that sometimes we are too ready to hang on to that pain because in that pain is the "before this all happened I was fine and good with my life."

Yet, not all of us are inclined to do the things that it will take to NOT have to go through the pain so as to stay free of the things and the habits that cause us to hurt more, and when we hurt more, it shows.

In order to get over the lie housed in the pain, we have to be willing to not only see what it was that someone else brought to our lives but also how much we hurt or how unfortunately we chose to deal with the anger. Anger can become hatred, and hatred kills our souls which ultimately leads to the killing of ourselves and then our bodies. The lie that we tell ourselves is that we are not forgivable, that we are such bad people on our own that Spirit will never see to it that our lives will be magical, and the truth is that this is not the truth. It stems from the belief that in order to forgive others that they must perform great acts of kissing our okoles, and they must take our biting remarks and our energy that is angry on as the reality that we are in regards to them. Essentially we want them to bow to our sense of being hurt by them, and we want them to pay for it again and again, even though we, ourselves, would never think that this was okay were that it were us.

Can You Forgive ?

This is the ultimate question - can you forgive? Can you forgive yourselves for believing the things about you that you have always known were not the truth, and can you forgive the people who brought their opinion disguised as the lie that you housed in your pain? Can you totally give in to that pain so that from within it you can come forth and heal from it from having gone through it all? Can you give yourself the chance just once to become the imperfectly perfect absoluteness that is the example of all that is The Divine and realize that you are a part of it and that it is a part of you?

Can you bother with the idea that you are Loved beyond measure, beyond the idea that someone else finds in you a reason to hate themselves so much that they have to point out what they see in you that is also in themselves, and from that knowing, can you allow someone the freedom that is you forgiveness, not only of them but also of you?

Can you trust yourself to know what you are doing, enough so that once you have spoken your words to another person, words of forgiveness, can you also extend the same Love to yourself?


Can you do the one thing that you know is going to give you and the person who you are angry with the most Love energy that you can by simply stating one thing?

"I Forgive You"


I Love You All !
ROX