Circumstances

Our Circumstances might be similar, but...

We humans have a bad habit of thinking that since our own personal circumstances are a lot like someone else's, that how we handle our own stuff is how everyone else will be able to as well. I am a sinner in this church, and these days I try dearly to remember that while what I have gone through might be a story that someone else could tell and said story would also be their's, how we each handle our own lives is up to us and what will serve us rather than make things harder for us. 

Don't assume that you know how to handle someone else's circumstances, not even if you have "been there."

While we might "get it" in terms of being able to relate to someone else due to the similarities in circumstances, it is arrogant that any one of us would believe that since something worked for someone else that the same measure of what worked for them will also work for anyone else. While we humans have mirrors to our own selves all over the planet, the fact remains that we are each different from one another and that no two ways that any one similar circumstance will be alike because if we bother to remember so, it is because no two people are alike.

People are different. While we each may have things in similarity to others, we are each markedly different. We are each made up of many, many different things - yes, DNA and genes and blood and skin and bones and tissue - but also we are each made up of our personality, our likes and dislikes, the things that scare us, that make us angry, and of course, the things that make us happy and the things that warm our inner selves. Couple all of these things that we already have in common with all of the experiences that we each have had to this point and we find that there are a whole lot of things that bind to one another, but just as well there are a whole lot of things that make us each very unique and this is where the thinking that "To each his own." 

"To each, his own..."

If you want people to think for you, then go ahead and try to think for them, but I promise you that you will be met with a degree of displeasure, and simply and only because we do not all handle our stuff the exact same way anyone else will. While I cannot be too sure of it, it is said that Einstein stated that “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

While I cannot prove that Einstein is who coined this thought, I can say that it is the truth. Think about it for a minute and you will come to the same conclusion that while one thing worked for you, it may fail horribly for another. This is part of why some children do not do as well in school, or we think, as do others, and why it is that hiring a group of people to come up with marketing ideas does not need someone in finance to help them unless the ideas have anything to do at all with finances. We cannot all do everything that we need to have done, and when what we need to have done is a personal thing for any one of us, we also cannot tell other people that they should do things the way that we did them because they might not be able to do things the way that we do them. For instance, when we are teaching our children to do anything at all and they are not "getting it," the most fail-safe thing that we can do at that moment is NOT to judge the kid because he or she cannot do this thing the way that we do it, but to allow them to take a look at whatever it is that they are trying to do while we step away for a moment so that we are not only not getting their way, but also, our own. 

We are highly emotional when it comes to doing things correctly, and we are more so when it comes to an issue that is highly personal for us. When it comes to the most sensitive of topics and situations that we share in common with others, the hardest thing in the world to NOT do is give anyone instructions on how to do things our way. I said it. Deal with it. We humans are such an aggravatingly arrogant lot that we really believe that if our methods do not work for people who are not us that THEY must be doing things our way, wrong. 

Really? You mean to tell me that you know what WILL work for someone else and that you know that without a doubt it WILL work for them and if it doesn't work for them that it is THEIR fault?

Okay...while you might be sorta right, that you would blame the person who was not you for screwing up what did work for you is not their fault. What is their fault is not replicating the thing that you did, which was think about a way to come up with something that they COULD do, but what is not their fault is not being able to do what you did to come up with an agreeable resolve at the end of it all.

We cannot hope, even pray, that someone else will be able to do what we did, ever. When are we going to learn well enough that just because something works for us that it might not be the same for everyone else? Think back to when you were a kid and all those times that your parents showed you how to do something and while you tried, over and over and over again, you still could not have the same end result, making many days and weeks of your not being able to go outside and hang with your pals because you screwed up something that you thought you did right, but it was not right enough.

Well, that is because the instructions for having done it right were not you enough. This is the thing about showing others - we have to remember that we can suggest, and we can show, and we can teach, but we cannot learn, and we cannot force to learn, and that when we force to learn, and we force to agree, we are not in the energy of right thought. While it is technically right action if you got it right, there can never be any such thing as "right resentment," because resentment is a naturally occurring human emotion and we need it as a gauge for our own Path, it is not something that needs to be permanent, and we all know that more often than not, resentment is a big fat deal of a problem. Resentment is bred, I have observed, more than not, because of something that we are not allowed to have or do, or worse, something that we tried to have or to do and could not because we were shown someone else's right way to do it without regard for our own way of doing things. 

The onus can be put on both parts of this equation, but again, I must to defer to the idea that fish do not climb trees and no matter how much you can train a fish to do anything, the one thing that it cannot do, no matter what, is climb that tree like a cat instinctively just knows to. In that same light, we have to be able to perform our own healing, even when we have a healer we must, because a healer's job is only to guide our clients to that healing. In the case of The Sisterhood of the Soul, our healers live by this "einsteinian" thought about fish not being able to climb trees. We know each of our clients are unique, and we give respect to the idea that since a fish cannot climb a tree, that also must mean that each person on the planet is unique enough to come up with some sort of something resembling relief for their own lives. 

We can point out anything we want to anyone we want to, but unless we are also sensitive to the idea that people have to be able to learn to come up with their own way out of anything, and unless we realize that we just have to accept that even our own kids are unique to who they are and that not another soul on the planet can do things the way that anyone else can, we will continue to live with the frustrations that we know we can live without in our lives. If we are just more willing to see that we are different, that some folks take longer to get through their stuff, that even though something worked nicely for us that it might not be the same for someone else, we, too, will remain in the energy that other people, because they did not do something the same way that we did, are not as good as we are.

We will stay with that wrongness of thoughts that tell us that we are better, stronger, wiser, smarter, prettier, whatever...than anyone else is.

And y'all gotta know already that to expect someone else to behave in a manner that is outside of themselves that already, and on your and your ego's behalf, they have possibly hurt themselves more, and all because of what?

Oh yeah...so YOU could go out into the world and tell people that you were the reason that they succeeded....

Kinda makes it all different for ya when I put it in those terms now, doesn't it?

Yup yup...I said it, now deal with it...I promise, cookie, you will be just fine !!

That is, as long as you pursue your own ways and not try to impose them onto someone else as being the ONLY way and the ONLY RIGHT WAY.

Think about it...the last time you did something that was way, way important, and you did it someone else's way and it did not turn out well for you, how did you feel after the fact? Not too good right?


Riiiiiiiight !!! 


I Love You All !!
ROX


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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Mirror, mirror...our Kuleana about our own "stuff"

Heart ache can be crippling 

Heart ache is part of Life. We can do nothing to avoid it. We can expect to have our hearts broken again and again, and for the most part, almost all of us will choose to sit in that energy until something outside of us comes along to comfort us. The thing about things outside of ourselves, and this includes the things and energies which we find in other people when we are in the middle of our heart ache, is that they are not there forever.

We are the Savior we are each looking for

We don't know it when we meet them, but the people who come into our lives are meant to be there and with a good purpose, or they are there to bring to us the "study materials" that we need for the lessons at hand. Many times, I know, I have not been the only one to bring to the material world for people who need to know it, that thought that is my own opinion that they need to see, not for anything other than that it is the Truth, and the Truth, at least out of me, is not something that I readily reveal for people. The Truth revealed is not mine to reveal but everyone else's to discover.

The Truth revealed, usually, is not what the most of us want to know, want to see, want to hear, want to know, but it is something that we cannot avoid. We can fear it. We can choose to ignore it, even when we know that ignoring it is not the thing that we need to do. Normally, the Truth hurts. That it hurts is one thing, but that we are more willing to look away from it, more willing to think of other things that we know will not change things for us at all is quite another. We keep believing that maybe there is a small glimmer of anything resembling hope for the outcome that we want, pursuing only the outcome we want to see that we have created in our own heads, and without the idea and the absoluteness that is also the will of others, if it so applies.

And we try  dearly to not have to look at the Truth that hurts us, and the more we avoid it the more it is in our faces like so many petulant children. The Truth, as I know it to be, is not made up of all the fancifulness and all of things that we tell ourselves are the things that we want to have as our Truth, even though our soul tells us to run the other way - fast.

We avoid our Truth and ignore the thing that keeps telling us what we need to hear and to know, and we want so badly to manipulate it all into the thing that we are wishing it will be, when in fact and indeed, we know, for sure, that it will never be what we envisioned. As well, it should not be, because if we got everything that we think we want, we would be a different sort of heart broken, and that different sort comes with all kinds of Karmic imbalance that we have to balance out prior to our heart being no longer broken.

The things that we do in order to make the hurt leave us usually only leaves us with more hurting, and that is what we are tying to get through - the hurt. We don't realize we are just hurting ourselves more when we try to push it to the side and not look at it. It is still there, always, like the "gifts" our dogs leave us in the backyard when they have finished the treats and the table scraps we have given them...and we like to look at those "gifts" and think about what we should do with them and not do anything about them anyway.

The Things We Do

There are a variety of ways that we make our heart break worse on us, and then when we find that what we have done to make ourselves feel better does not work, we want to blame everything and everyone outside of ourselves for our pain, when in fact our pain and what we do with it is ours alone to deal with, and most of the time, we go right back to the start of the circle and we do the EXACT same thing we did the last time we tried to make what we were feeling go away. It does not go away without our at least thinking that we can do something about it that does not include getting other people involved with us. It does not leave us, ever, until we have taken the opportunity to look at it for what it is and try hard to look at it differently.

Looking at It Differently

This takes a little bit of practice to become good at, the looking at of things from a different perspective. It takes our being able to see ourselves from the perspective that no longer places us in the area marked "Victim," and begins to move us to another place, another place called "Survivor" and from my own experiences, while we never truly ask to be the victim of or to anyone, the only one who makes us a Survivor is our own self.

Sure, we can look to others for guidance, and we can take their words to heart and utilize them, but we have to be strong enough, as well, to see the imperfections that are there, to know that we loaned our own efforts to the heart break and because of this we know that we are also going to have to be a large part of the effort to bring us to that place where Peace resides, and we all know where Peace truly resides, don't we?

Peace Resides Within

Always and forever, peace resides within. Peace is not only quietude, and peace is not only that which we all seek out, but it is also the major definer of when we have chosen to become all we are supposed to become, because it is at that point when we have given in to and accepted what is ours that we will truly find peace. Peace is not something that can be had through doing nothing, because the "doing nothing" that too many experts and gurus want you to believe is that there is no work ...inner emotional work, not physical work....and that is not the truth.

Think about it - it took you a little while to manifest all the "other than peace" that you currently have. It took a long time for you to dwell on a thing that you knew at the onset when it was presented to you that whatever it was that you were looking at became your focus, became the thing that you wanted so badly that it began to invade your every thought. Your every thought begets your every action. Within those thoughts that were other than peaceful, you believed that if you just DID more that you would be able to get other to help you bring you what you already have and that you already know is the truth, and also is that which you keep on avoiding. In your avoidance, you caused yourself more heartache and now there is double the energy, but not double the fun. This is not my rule (wait for it)....but that of the Universe.

We can no sooner believe that whatever it was that we have done in the past will also be the thing that will work now, and when it is that we figure out that all we are doing is running around in a circle chasing our souls in to the frenzied wreck that it becomes is when the reality that we are the ones who caused this mess through our actions caused with, and not by, other people. This is what is meant when Eleanor Roosevelt stated that (and I am paraphrasing from memory, guys) no one can make us feel inferior without our consent.
No one can make us feel or say or do anything without our making it possible for them. In order for us to hurt, we have to be open and willing to receive that hurt as part of us accepting the way that things are no more our control in regards to what others think and feel just as much as it is not their kuleana to feel or do anything about our pain. And that is a moot point, really, because no one else can do anything about how we feel. They may be able to empathize with us, and they Love us and that helps, but in the end, we are the ones who matter in regards to our own healing. We are who matters when it comes to how we feel and what we are willing to do about how we feel.

So, in the end, it really doesn't matter...in the end, it is not anyone else's stuff - it is ours.

I have met some very fine and wonderful people who are as equally angry and heartbroken as anyone could be. They are angry because they cannot get a tiny bit of empathy from another person, and they are heartbroken because they are not willing to get out of their own way and allow whatever the lesson at hand is to come into its own fullness. They know they do not have to be this way,and they know that there is always something that can be done to quell themselves.

Yet, they are helpless to really do anything about it, because they are also not willing to step aside and allow Spirit to work through them and reveal to them the things that they need to know and to see and to believe. It is not someone else who is at fault if we still hurt, but our own. It is not someone else who can decide for us which option to take, and even if they did that would tell anyone with any level of awareness that your heartaches reveal more about you than you are willing to let the rest of us know about - and we are finding them out through your words and actions that somehow do not match up. Always, there is a way for others to know when it is that we are being given something other than the Truth because the Truth is always going to reveal itself, no matter what.

In the end, when it is that we can no longer bear the pain and the shame of all that we have let ourselves believe is when the healing comes.It comes at that point when we are a wreck emotionally, a constant flow of private and silent tears come to us, and when we have given the child who still lives within us no way to grow out of the beliefs that no longer apply to our lives.

Take a moment today to look at yourself in the mirror and see what is truly there. Yes, you will see your own messiness, and you will see also the hurt...but you will also see the wounded child who you punish more than you care to Love, and that is really what you need - self love, because it is in that measure of Self Love that we are made whole, that we are made to see what we are for real, and in that one moment, we know the Truth.

The Truth is a Beautiful Thing.
I Promise.

I Love You All !

ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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Division Between Us

It is fine to disagree, but it is not fine to act as though things just don't bother someone...the truth is that it does...

I think I have had just about enough of the idea that anyone has the right to say, write and post things that are of an offending nature. While it remains that yes, it shouldn't affect me the way that it has, reminders of the fact that we are not able to see past what is ours alone that somehow will offend another person have the very propensity to do just that, and it has.. I will not sit here and pull people apart, because that is what has been done to me since roughly 10 A.M., pacific, and no, it is not about just a post that I happened upon on my own Facebook wall, but also, the very thought in anyone's head that somehow, it is okay to say and that since it is that we ourselves tend not to allow things to bother us, we assume, too, that it will not affect others. I am very sorry to inform a whole lot of people of it, but I am not the only one who takes things that they read and see, hear and then know, lightly, namely NOT when it is something that is not controlled by the media or by the thought that we need somehow to just get over ourselves...really?

It is not that easy

It started earlier today, when I was coming out of the grocery store for the second time, minding my business as normally I do, and there he was in his suit and his crooked smile and his handshake offered to me. When the conversation turned to the idea that I am somehow going to go to hell because I refused to stand there listening to this person telling me that I am wrong, that how I believe is going to send me straight to hell and that the only redemption was my buying into the man's crap, and when it was that I told him that I was offended at the idea that since it was that he did not understand my point of view, that what he was doing was so far removed from the God he was trying to get me to believe (mind you - I accepted that he has his beliefs but he made no effort to accept mine, which is cool - he didn't have to and I truly did not expect him to) in and when he outright told me that I was breaking my mother's heart by denouncing his version of Christianity, I turned back toward him and told him that HE was the one who was divisive, that no one needs to be scared or told they are wrong because they do not believe his way was the only way.

Then, later, it happens again, and you bet your okole that I am offended by the idea that what we look like, even as vain as I am, somehow has anything to do at all with what it is that I see rather than what is intended. When the hell was it named today as being "let's do some divisive stuff today" and why is it that people want to believe that I should just take it like it is? I am sure that were it something as big a deal globally that the thing that also set me off has nothing to do with beliefs in a spiritual sort of way and everything to do with beliefs in the way that I have managed to make it known by everyone within my reach that no matter what anyone says, no matter what it is that bothers other people about themselves, it does not need to be made known, discussed, and then expected that most people would not be offended. If you hear things, see things, read things enough, and you have had to hear, read, see those things throughout the bulk of your life, and you have remained closed mouthed about it, and then one day you let loose, not because of anything other than that people remain to behave as they will because not a lot else has changed but the vocabulary, you bet your ass I am going to say something about it. When the hell did certain demographic groups have the right to hate on other groups simply over something as not as big a deal as I know I am making of it all is? Why should anyone in one group NOT get offended?

Sometimes, you will be offended, and while it is that I make it very clear to MANY people that I try DEARLY not to have a thing to say, when it is something that needs to STOP? Yeah...you bet I am going to say something, and you can also bet your ass that I am NOT going to be very quiet nor calm about it. It has NOTHING TO DO with what many probably think is my reason, and if people bothered to think past what is on the top of things - ALL PEOPLE - and no, I am not pointing anyone out - there would be a whole lot less to be offended about. I am clearly, and angrily stating that in order for ANYONE in this lifetime to be able to GET OVER ANYTHING, there needs to be a semblance of something called empathy.

Empathy is a big fat deal to me, and I say so because empathy is the thing that not a whole lot of folks have for anyone or anyone else's situation. When was it made okay for one group of people to point out their own perceived flaws by making another group the group that the other group feels somehow has always had the upper hand? I refuse to make it seem as though the ills and the ails of the Native Americans - ALL native groups - STILL be the problem that a white person has to deal with. It is not the white man's issue to salve us, but our issue to fight and come back from the depths of societal pariahs to the respected people who we all are these days? Why do we choose to close this division with more hate? What is it useful for?

Another thing that bugs is the idea that your God is bigger and has more influence in my life than does my Goddess? It is the SAME energy. The very same energy of Love and of Light and all that other good stuff - why hate on those who are NOT like you? Why band together against one thing, one group? Why not take ONE THING IN COMMON and make THAT our mission? This same thing goes for women's body types. And yes, this is yet one more thing that irritates the hell out of me. I am GOING TO GET offended, f*cking ass hurt even, every time I see something that divides women. I do no differentiate women. We are all the same - all beautiful, no matter what. So you can imagine the dismay I feel, the very sickening within me that tells me once again, I have to, of all things, make it very clear that there is NOTHING IN THE WORLD which bothers me more than do things that I see, read and hear about women of this body type and women of another body type - who really cares? Are we not all the same? Why bother with making people feel like this is an "Us versus them" thing? It ain't.

It is very much a thing that bugs me as it has always, because while I enjoy being my size and my build, there are a whole lot who do not. This is the thing that I teach about - that we are all the same, that our body shape is irrelevant to anything else if we ourselves are not able to love who we are, and I love who I am, and I am remiss to think about the fact that there are a lot of photos out there on the internet that people just cannot see in them that the things that they post are of a divisive nature. I am not calling out anyone, and if anyone feels like I have, that is on them. Just as I was not called out - I am allowed to be my opinionated self about this, because I am that woman who was lambasted, a lot, for being my size, was ostracized for it, was constantly called "SKINNY AND PRETTY, " and while that might be okay for many women, it is not okay for me. It is nice to be complimented, but when you know that it is not a compliment, that it is one more person's way of telling you that you are the reason that they feel like they are not good enough, pretty enough, this or that enough...yep- I have a big fat problem with that thinking and with you, too.

It is not okay to divide us when we try so hard to be united, and no matter who tells me what - this is my real feeling.

It is not, in my book, okay to point out what is physically wrong with other people, no matter what. It is not okay to make a bigger gulf of division in the minds of the whole of us that we are one side against the other, and really, that more than much else is my reason for speaking out. I do not like divided wholes. I do not like the idea that we need to look at each other and not take into consideration the actual "luckiness" factor involved and no, it is not okay to make a stand against another person because you think that this is a personal attack. It is NEVER a personal attack and more and only a defense mechanism that I hate to use. But use it I must from time to time, because that is how I roll.

It is offensive NOT to look at things from someone else's point of view, and where some might think I am whining, I am actually speaking out against something that should not matter anymore, even though I know, even in my case, it matters. It matters what we look like, but that does not mean that we need to choose one versus the other. It matters that some of us refuse to look at a person from the outside and not even bother with thinking about the things that offend anyone else. I have been told over the years that I should think before I post anything at all, that I should consider that there is more than only one demographic of any sort of person, or even group of people, and that more than anything else, there need be no feeling that one group has the right, by whatever means they feel it is their right, to point out another group without considering that there are many who are not going to be okay with what you have said. It is one thing to believe it and live it, but when you start dividing us...well, you figure it out.

I do not come unglued like I have for the bulk of today unless I am given a good enough reason.

I think that dividing groups of people, not even if they are your own stated words, is a good enough reason.

Enough, already...

I Love You All.
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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The Way It Is...

"I'm on my way...I'm on my way...Home, Sweet Home..."
("Home Sweet Home," by 80's rockers, Motley Crue)

Sometimes, or so it seems, we need to take the scenic route just to get back to where we belong. When I say that we need to Know Who Our Tribe is, I mean exactly that. When we think in terms of those who share closeness with us, and we can see with our mind's eyes those people within the confines of relationship, and not a romantic Love type of relationship, we find there the peace, the very salve and the solace that we need in just knowing that we are so not alone in this lifetime. Today seems to have the flavor of people, not losing what they thought they had, but more, shedding the idea that they needed anything from anyone else. This is the magic of human beings. This is the thing that, once we can get past the idea that we are who we are according to anyone else, and no, this is not my saying that other people make us who we are, we become stronger. When it is that we have been startled by the thought that the person in front of us holds meaning for us, this is when the scariness of who we really are in relation to everything and everyone else becomes the most tantamount, important thing. It is like this because at that point, we not only Know these people, we find out that in more ways than one, we are them and they are us. 

Scary, right?
(Riiiiiight)

The Long and Winding Road (The Beatles)

It is a long time waiting for similar people to show up, and it is a longer time waiting and wondering where they are all at. It should have dawned on you a long time ago who these people are. They are the ones whose hurts are the same as are yours, and they are the ones whose passion is the same as yours, and they are the ones to whom you can give your secrets and not worry about them saying a thing to anyone else. It is a long time that we each wait to meet those who share the same Tribe that we do, and a longer time when we have to wait for them to return to us, only to have us unwittingly not see the signs and not see that them becoming part of our own awareness was their introducing themselves to our own Souls.

It is a long and winding road that we each must travel, not so that we can meet these people in the real, but more, so that we can be prepped and primed for their arrival in our lives. And sometimes we mistake their arrival as something that it is not. Sometimes it is a "fling" which becomes a friendship and the bond is unbreakable, while at other times, it begins as passers-by with whom we share many Tribal members and do not realize it. Sometimes they show up in the form of someone who is also working out Karma from a past life and now your two Souls have again met on the physical. There are a whole lot of ways that we meet our Tribe, and most of the time, it is when we are having a very hard time in Life that we will meet them. They come to us in the form of people who can help us to make sense of the hurts and the aches in the Bones of the Soul, and at other times we know that there is a very real sibling type bond between us and even as miles may separate us from each other, the Tribal energy is there and will remain there because you have met another person who belongs to the same Soul Tribe as you do, and it is at that point in our human realities that we finally understand what it means to be a miracle.

What it means to be a Miracle

We are all Miraculous. If you each took a moment to research exactly how our human minds work and how it is that our bodies are tied to our minds and our souls, you would know for sure that who you are is important, and is important on a level that not a lot of people believe they are. ALL OF US is important to someone, even if it is that we only have that one person who our soul recognizes. We see in them the very miracle that we each are, and we begin to know within us who is playing which role in our lives, and it is when we try hard to refill a void that is somehow not helping our growth that we begin to also know that the way the Soul works is not the way that the Ego wants us to Know. Our Egos want us only to know what we want, what we will do what we must in order to have. A good example is Love, the sort that makes us high on life and ready to take on the world, and in our own human failing we find that even as we Love falling in love, we, as a human whole, are more inclined to want to stay in that hormone-induced "Love" that we each seek out.

One day we are faced with the very truth about our selves, and the truth about our selves usually becomes apparent when new people show up and give new light to an old way of being, and normally it is the old ways of being that have prompted us to want to see change in our lives. Yet when that change is staring us in the face, we bristle, but eventually we accept it. We accept it in ways that we did not think that we would, and we learn from the things that we thought we did not know, all about who we are according to someone else. When it is that the someone else is someone who we never knew but somehow seem to "know" anyway...also and better known as the phenomena of 'Soul Recognition"...we find that very truly, while we are unique in who we are, we know, by the very recognition of the Soul, that truly, we are not alone.

The Flip Side of Things...

While it is awesome finding those people who resonate most with us, there is the flip side of things, the side that says that we have the option to not seek out others like our very selves. We rob ourselves of the goodness that we are when we are not willing to forgo the things that were our reality just yesterday. We want the sameness, but many times we cannot bother with the work.

In order to get anywhere, even in a tangible manner, we have to do the work. This is where many people fail in their dealing with others - they want the soul recognition so badly that they will see themselves in the worst of the worst, and while this does not mean that those who could be deemed as the worst, what this merely means is that we are drawn to what we think we need in our lives when in fact, sometimes, we are drawing that which we used to be rather than what we have evolved to. And talk about the same old situation...it is not only the same old bunch of energy that we have to deal with, but we also have to contend with a much harsher lesson, and it is harsher because we know that at the end of the lesson we are going to end up where we should already have been. Why would anyone choose to go through the pain again, go through the shame again, go through it all, all over again,only to end up where you would have been anyway?

Because we are creatures of habit, and as such we go with the familiar and not that which is unfamiliar to us. We go with what is on the outside and tolerable, even if what is tolerable insults the hell out of our soul. We do it because it is safe, even if it is not safe, and by safe, I mean that we have been there and have done that and oh! Lookie here! We have given birth to the same old situation. Wow...talk about a magician, huh?

I am likened to telling people that I am not Chris Angel, not a magician, that I am a healer and that what I have to bring to their lives is a tiny bit of clarity which might bring to the surface a whole new thing to look at, and what we are looking at when this occurs is the newness which is contrasted by the old way, by what no longer fits or works for us.

When we find out what no longer works, even if we want it to, and still, we go ahead with the thought that this time, it could work, we know, too, that we are only kidding ourselves and headed for a heartbreak.

The Tribal Way

Many people are literally part of a Tribe, and it is a beautiful thing. We are all part of someone's Tribe, someone's Ohana, and because of this one thing, we know that there are ways of being within that Tribe's patterns for living. In my particular Tribe, there are many who are just like me, and many who are like me but are polar opposite to me, and no matter what, I know within my own Soul that I never have to pine for Home again, because Home lives within me, within the Tribe which I call My Own.

If I did not research Tribal ways, I would not have known that for many years I have been Tribal in a leadership kind of way. This is also something that is particular to my Tribal Ohana. They each and all know that no matter what, even if we fail to bitter disagreement, that we are meant to be there in each others' lives, and it is possible that the reason IS the disagreement. None the less, these people know they are very important to me, know the pureness and the Sacred Nature of those who I share my life with. They know that I am that one person who they can say anything to and that one person who will never let go of the things that they tell me, that they remain to tell me, and this is a beautiful thing.

Within one's own Tribe, one must know that there is a reason that these people are there, that they bother with us at all, and always, that reason is familial.

When you are pining to go Home, and you have that inclination that you need to be somewhere else, that there awaits something for you in a big way, it is at that point where your sights and your inclinations should be turned to the people who you Love the most, who you spend the most time with, because in those similarities are also the things that have the answers to most of your innermost questions, with the main one being "When do I get to go Home, Godde?"

That answer is simple...you never left...all you are doing is waiting for the family...Tribal ...reunion...

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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"...should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble...but if I go there will be double..." ("Should I stay or should I go ?" by The Clash)

We humans are such good hiders of the truth of us. In these last few weeks the running theme with many people has been which options to choose, and always, because of the way that human nature behaves, there is nothing that has told me that we will not choose that which is familiar to us, even though that which is familiar to us quite possibly might be the very worst thing for us and our lives at the time. I know this. I lived it and to an extent I still tend to live in the energy that was given to me many times over, not only by people close to me, but also by people who I do not even know. That energy is called "indecision."

"Should I stay..."

Wow! It is a very powerful, even and in some cases, very life-changing question to answer, far bigger than "To be or not to be," because in one instance you are merely Being, but in the other instance you are being asked to choose, and you all know already how I feel about the vocabulary being used - choosing leaves us with a negative, meaning that the choice we did not make is the negative one, the one that did not rank high enough in our minds. The truth of things not ranking high enough in our minds is not that the option given to us is not the best one because the truth may be opposite of that. It may very well be that the "correct" option scares the hell out of us. For a long time I was scared that I would be alone, but when I thought about being alone versus being lonely I realized that I have no reason to be lonely because I have the greatest Tribe in the world and they negate the perception that I have of what I believed was "loneliness."

In reality, what I really wanted was validation, and when it comes to validation and me, the only thing that I knew that really needed was to be more sure of myself in the options that I chose and if those options were conducive at all to my own Soul's growth, and in many ways more than even I can think of, the choices that I have made lately have been the ones that are the best and offer the betterment of my own gifts and also helps in the reality of things for my practice and that which I do for and with my own clients within the confines of that practice.This is where we are not really aware that when we let something or someone go, always, in its or their place, always the Universe responds to that "void" by filling it up, not with what we want but with what we need, and sometimes what we need is a swift kick in the okole to make us see that we are using others or being used, that we are offering ourselves up to the glorification of someone else, and even though technically this is SO not what we are doing, we cannot be sure that this is not the thought and the intention of the other people involved in a mess that we know is not one that we have created all on our own.

When I say "should I stay?" I mean that sometimes, the choice to stay within a certain way of being, within the boundaries of a situation, and choosing to stay there and see if there is a chance that things can change - and mind you, there is ALWAYS the chance that things CAN change, even though the change may not be what we hoped for. What we hope for is the thing that answers the question of "Should I stay...?" and it is at that point where most of the things that we have to look at within that particular situation come screaming through to us and get up in our faces like an old drunk on a mission. Choosing to not see through to the changes and believing that perhaps there is something there that we can siphon from someone else is wrong. Choosing to leave the "Should I Stay?" alone and giving other people the option to really have a chance at making a good choice and not influencing them (especially and even when we are not aware that our actions can and will influence their actions...just sayin') is what this whole "want in one hand and sh*t in the other" thing is truly all about.

Knowing not only when someone else has had enough, but more, knowing when YOU have had enough is key to the "SHOULD I STAY" part...

"...or should I go now?"

The best way to know the answer to this question, or rather, this part of the question, is to go with whatever it is that you feel immediately. If you know that what you have opted to do is not in line with your own Soul's purpose, you will be ...WILL BE helpless to do anything about it other than react or respond to the energy of it. If you know that what you are doing  is somehow or in any way at all not in line with what it is that you know is your life purpose. If you know that the things that you are doing with or for anyone else are somehow not the things that you need to be doing, then you should also know that you have another option when thinking in terms of what it is that you need to do.

I do not tell people what to do - it doesn't work because a lot of the time what I say to people is not only the truth but in many ways is just my coming up with an option that they might not be able to see. When it is that the options that you are being given are not attractive to you and you keep on feeling yourself stretching to make whatever it is that you know is not the right thing to do plausible in your own mind - well, it is at that point that I know that somehow, within the work that I do with people, somehow what I am teaching them, because it is not the fit that their ego likes, is lost on them. There are people who I work with DAILY who want me to come up with the right answers, and the reality is that these folks already know what the right answers are, but their egos are not done playing havoc with them yet, and so they go forward in the same energy they have always been in, without cause to think that maybe the reason they keep ending up at square one is no one else's fault but their very own.

And dearly there are many of them who blame others for not getting it in terms of what these people are all about. If you know you are about one thing, and you give the energy that you are the opposite, the energies - NOT JUST THE INTENTIONS - are what will be most apparent. If you are giving the energy that you are in any situation at all and your intentions are not pure and you go against that which your Soul knows is correct, you will always end up in that same energy, no matter what. This is not my rule but that of the universe.

The "should I go now" applies when we know the answer, when we have always known the answer, and it is always that of the ego's way and the ego's "knowing" that tells us that we have to collect more of anything, including people, so that we can feel secure. If we need other people to feel secure and we need more of anything to make us feel like somehow we are right and good and comfortable, the only thing I can say to you is that you ain't thinkin' right. This is something that we all are supposed to learn, eventually, and I did learn it, and learned it very well that other people do not make me, do not break me, and that I alone am who is the one responsible for the way that I feel. I can say and do whatever it is that I care to, but the truth which underlies it all will never change - it will always be exactly what it is, and there is no one who can make that one thing different.

So basically, if you know you should go, then get to steppin' already...yeesh!

"In the end, it really doesn't matter" (Linkin Park)

I often use song lyrics to make my point, but in this particular thing, in the end, no matter what we think, no matter how we think we are manipulating a situation, at least in our own heads, the truth is the truth and while it might seem that we can hide our own truth, it is the universal truths that a lot of the time we are missing the point on.

No matter what we do, if we are more willing to hurt temporarily for the time being so that the rest of the time that we are walking the crust of the earth we have the leverage that our lessons bring to us, then we are practicing right thinking. Right thought, no matter what, never steers us the wrong way. Sometimes it is other people who bring us their own truth, which sometimes is the very truth that we need the most. No one can make us change who we are because who we are IS the truth, but even in that instance we find that there are times in our lives when the truth that used to fit simply no longer does, and at that point we have to be willing to hurt a little bit, to face the very truth which we think applies only to other people. Other people tend to have a different thought about things, and other people are the mirrors to our Selves that cannot lie to us even though their actions and their words do not match.

When our actions and our words match, we find that we have the very world at our disposal, ripe and ready for the picking, so to speak. When our words and our actions do not match, we find out, too, that there are people on this planet with whom we hold some sort of counsel and who matter to us. When they matter to us, the truth might hurt but as long as the truth is brought out in the light that is healing and not one that causes more pain, it is right action, but when the truth is spoken only to get our own ass out of a situation that we cannot find our way out of, it is then that we have to go over the entirety of a situation and seek out the truth that we know is there and is waiting to be discovered.

Not my rules, guys....not my rules...
You all already know Whose Rule it is....and yes, the rules totally apply to us all...no one is different in the eyes of Spirit....get used to it...this is just how it all rolls....

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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That which we resist not only persists, but insists!

Human beings tend to ignore the obvious signs that tell us that the time for growth is Now

We have all heard it again and again..."That which we resist, persists," and Eckhart Tolle had it right when he said it. The things that we do not want to look at, are scared to accept, look like they might be more trouble than they are worth to even look at, and that which continues to show up in our lives and that which we choose to NOT address - THOSE THINGS are the very things that we need to stop being so afraid of and more, are the very things that we need to change.

Not only do the things that we no longer want in our lives persist, they also insist that we pay attention to them 

It is like a recurring rash that happens whenever we have eaten something that we are not aware of our needing to no longer eat - it comes back, and while we are not aware that we may have developed a food allergy to that one thing, we know for sure that until we have checked everything out and know for sure what is the cause of that rash, that we perhaps should not be eating what it is that caused it. The problem is, though, that for the bulk of our lives we have never had an allergy to anything, never had a reason to think that maybe this thing that has come to our lives is the very thing that we have been ignoring and is the thing that is the representation of what it is that we are now needing to no longer have in our lives.

Notice that I did not write what we do not want, because that is easier than what we no longer need in our lives, and normally when it comes to our needs we silly humans want to hang on to what worked for us in the past, and in reality everyday we evolve and everyday we look at the things that are part of our lives and wonder why it is that we are hanging on to things that no longer have a purpose. The reason is because the purpose has been met and we do not know that it has been, and that is part of why it is so hard to think that things are changing even though it seems as though nothing has changed at all. Sometimes, when it seems that nothing has changed at all is when we are ready and receptive to the idea that what has come to be and come about is exactly what we needed AND asked for - this is when the reality of Eckhart Tolle's inclination toward making it real to us in writing that whatever it is that we know needs to be seen to, know needs to be looked at and accepted, and more, that which makes an appearance again and again in our lives and our awareness - THAT is what we need to pay attention to - and NOT what we WANT to happen first.

That is the funny thing about all this spiritual and manifesting stuff - whatever it is that is the persistent thought in our awareness, whether it is perceptively the thing that we want or not, does not matter. It does not matter because that thing that keeps coming back is the one thing that we keep ignoring, putting off, not bothering with, and it is that one thing that keeps on with this same sort of energy that makes it all the more reason that we really, really need to take a look at it all and choose if what it is deserves to be ignored any further. If a thing keeps coming back and keeps making its presence known, don't be afraid of it. In fact don't look away from it because these things tend to end up like a very pain in the okole child looking for our attention...it ain't goin' away so you might as well just choose to look at it and find out what the hell is so important about making a choice or at least forming a new thought about.

SO, let's look at this again, okay? ...forming a new thought...it is not that easy, but you gotta do what you gotta do

Our thought processes are learned. We start this learning when we are very young, and just like we all know that children are like sponges, it is not only the book type of learning that we absorb, but also all the other sort of learning that we do, and that other learning is also something that sticks with and to us for as long as we choose not to have a thought about anything other than those which we have been given by others. We are meant to challenge our learning by adding to that measure of learning things that we have sought out on our own. When we first go out into the world to find our first job, not only is everything that we learned to that point about what we know immediately challenged, but so, too, is the opinion that we have formed about those things because we are about to be judged by a stranger and strangers have no reason to lie to us about who they think we are. If what we assume they think somehow matches what it is that we have as our own thoughts about a thing, whether those thoughts are ours or someone else's, regardless if they are new thoughts or thoughts which are outdated, the truth is that we are already not comfortable about a thing because we know already that we are going to be judged and it could be harsh or otherwise, depending upon the person's perception that they have formed with other people who have come to them in search of the same thing that you are.

Using the analogy of the very first job we find that the things that we have believed about ourselves for very long spans of time come fully into play for us, and this is not something that we do not experience every time we are met with something or someone new. We put on a show and it is within that we know if we are on the take or not, if we are coming to the situation fully present and absolutely truthfully or not. If we know at the onset that we are not being completely "there" in a situation we should also know that our inability to be absolutely transparent with our own reasons for anything at all need to be pure, because it is only in that pureness that we will find the truth, not only about other people and how they relate to us, but more, how we relate to our very selves. If we are persistently resisting changes that we know we need to make, then we should also be ready to accept that we will go through the stupidity that we have gone through for a long, long time and that it would be within our very best interest, not only to investigate more why it is that we keep going through things that we go through, but more, how it is that we intend to no longer go through what we go through that is no longer the thing or the way of being that is conducive to our own growth.

If we are not willing to at least look at what is happening and also to accept our place and our Selves inside of it, then what we are also not doing is not addressing that which the soul needs. If we are not addressing what the Soul needs, then always we will find ourselves right back where we started.

The saving grace in the redoing of things that do not even need to be thought about anymore is that at least we have seen it all before, and because we have seen it all before and done what we have had to do, we also know what needs to be done.

Something to really think about, ain't it?

Yes...yes it is...

I Love You All !!
ROX

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine 'Ui. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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January 30, 2013 - A Message from Spirit

Auhea Wale Ana 'Oe...Please ...Pay Attention...

When there is about to come in to our lives change of great magnitude, I am prompted by Spirit to deliver the Divine Message that She has for us...so please, understand at this time that while they are my hands typing this message and while it is that these are the words which also come produced by my thoughts, very dearly at this time, my thoughts are not only not my own, but are the very channeled and Loving words of the Divine Creatress....please kokua...please assist your self with this message, for it is a Divinely Timed and Planned message...


"Auhea wale ana 'oe....please, Children, do listen with your hearts and your souls, and allow that which is within your Self be seen now, for now is that time in the collective lives of mankind to see in one another all that you each are. Do not judge that which you do not understand and cannot comprehend, and it is of paramount importance that you each heed the thoughts and the synchronicity which is coming to your blessed Humanity at lightning pace. 

Change is upon you, and the changes, while they are not comfortable, are needed, for all of mankind has a shared purpose, in Aloha (Love), and in Peaceful Unity (Lokahi), and there are a great many adjustments to be made, singularly as well as collectively. It is time now to release all that you have as your painful memories, and time now, too, to forgive that which is within you each that has yet to be forgiven, for all of humanity is prepared to walk the Path of Divinity, but no longer alone, and instead, as One. For it is that The One is The One of the Whole of the Human Race, and it is a sad testament that throughout the course of your lives you have all chosen to go the way of the Ego. You did so because this is what was expected of you all. You did so because that is not only what you were taught, but was also the lesson that you were expected to learn and did. The time has come, now, to release those thoughts and release the pain and give it to Spirit, for it is within those thoughts that you have been borne to this day in the manner which you have been, be they Loving thoughts, angry thoughts. Whatever the case may be, these things are meant, for they are that which will lead the whole of you to your Higher Calling. Your Higher Calling is your Kuleana (responsibility) and your Kuleana is many fold. For many lifetimes collectively you have taken on the color of that which is not you, is not the truth of you, and you have carried that weight for far too long now. The time has come to release yourselves from that burden and know, too, that Now is the only time that any one of you has. 

Now is when you will make the most crucial decisions, and now you have all those same options before you that you have always, but Now, those options have taken on a far greater meaning than ever before, and yes, you are meant to know that no matter what you have chosen you will have also made the concreteness of that choice permanent in your awareness. We beseech you to please do not shun the Kuleana. Be Wise in your choices, for they are the very stepping stones to your own Greatness. Humankind has shunned, for centuries, its collective greatness. Now is the time that all these things, these choices and the start on the Path that is your own, matter. They matter so very much for the time at hand is greatly awash with the mixture of elation and fear and confusion and apprehension and it is so because you have made it so. You have spent your entirety of Knowing thinking that there has to be a winner, has to be a loser, when in fact and in truth, there is nothing for anyone to win or to lose, and only that which you each are to Be. 

You must be willing now more than ever to release your fears and be out in the world, giving your Truth to whomever will have it and Know it and Bless it as the Gift which you each have for your Tribe and the Greater Whole of the Tribe of Humanity.Know now that regardless if it is accepted by others, that it MUST BE accepted by you each and all, in a singularly yet, paradoxically, collective manner. You are meant to be as One Wholeness, even as you each remain the singular representation of the Love that Is Spirit. The Love that Is Spirit is that which all are privy to, but mankind is still "of the Ego," and due to this, there are many who are not aware that the changes requested have been made and there are those who still resist this. You resist because you are not aware that you have been guided to this place in your Lives so that within the confines of those Lives you will be able to Bless others with your lived representation of The All That is. 

You must choose, now, Children, to Live up to that which is all of Na Mamo, all of that which is of The Chosen and of The Cherished, for this is what you are, this is Who You Are, and this is the Truth that Is. It is a Kuleana that the Whole of Mankind asked for, and it is now upon you, and there are many who still turn their eyes away from the blinding light of the Truth, for theirs is still the comfort which resides with the darkness that is within each and every human being. You have pandered to the whims of the Ego far too long, and it is because of this that you cringe and you chafe at the changes which you, yourselves, have asked for. It is not as difficult as it might seem, and at the same time, it very well is. It is because you have chosen it to be, and it is because the hard way is the only way that all of mankind has proven itself to believe is the most worthy way to see the changes and to embrace them.

We come to You as a meaningfulness to the changes at hand, and it is our hope that you all will seek the answers which come to you in the ways that are most noticeably apparent, even and especially when that apparent nature is of the sort which you cannot define with your limited human thinking. This is the time that the thoughts that you have had, the dreams you have chosen to build, and the life that you have each chosen to Live come face to face with everything else that you have all thought, dreamed, feared, wished for, dealt with, Know, and it is good,even as for some of you, it may have been and will remain to be painful. You are being asked to release the pain, release that which is most familiar to you and embrace the newness of that which is upon you all. Embrace the evolution that you are each singly and collectively experiencing, and know now that those things in your lives that make you cry, make you angry, make you "Soul Sick"...all is meant as a bigger part of your Grander Purpose and all is meant for your proper growth and more for the growing into of things that you cannot fathom as being part of your awareness at this time. 

Your awareness - it is what is going under the most change at this time, and it is because you all, for so long, have paradoxically known and seen what you must do and chose always to remain with those things which insulted your soul and gave meaning only to the pain without your addressing the very healing which has been collectively requested, over and over again, and when we heeded the cries in the night, you listened, heard, but you were not able to understand what the message was. The message is different but same, and it is all Love, all healing, all pure, all Light, and we ask that now, in this moment, that you remember who you are. Remember your place in the Universe and remember that even in your imperfections you have been made perfect, not in your eyes, but in that of Spirit's. Spirit is why you are here, in this awareness and Spirit has endowed you each and all with the very Light from the Soul, and it is a Divine Energy, and one which at this moment on Earth, is dearly needed, not to be kept so that your ego has yet one more thing to cling to, but more, is to be shared, even in this, what you see as its own unpolished and imperfect form. Your human eyes cannot fathom that these things that you see, that you hear and know, as being anything other than that which is harsh and that which hurts the Spirit but most assuredly does not crush it, for the time that was that was the intention of the masses to bring hurt and harm to your Souls is long past and most assuredly, verily we say this to you all, that the time, the hurt, is now prevalent in your eyes and in your minds because that is where it has been kept and embraced for all of time that has been. You now have the awareness that you no longer have to hold on to all of that, and you may, at your option, choose to release yourself from the past.

Learn to forgive, for in those times that you have accepted, let go, surrendered, you were made stronger, more perfect and it was a Divine and Sacred Moment, not only in your own human lives, but more, in the collective lives which are shared by all of humanity as the very collective whole that you are.

...remember that you are Love and that you are Loved... "


(..And with that said...)

I LOVE YOU ALL!!
ROX